We don’t have to be perfect to hold ourselves in care and esteem.

Get yourself settled emotionally and physically through grounding and orienting. Stay connected within as you try these inquiry statements.

I can afford to see myself

I see through false beliefs that something is wrong with me

I am worthy of love and connection as I am right now

I can afford for you to see me

My dignity is inherent, within

I share with you from my internal esteem and inherent dignity

Where do we have shared humanity and common ground? Recognizing their humanity, understanding them, and perhaps even having an open heart doesn’t mean we have to forgive someone or let them into our life. It means we are acknowledging them as a human being.

We can build this muscle by working with our own inner critic and with difficult people in our own life. Everyone has a backstory. How is that operating in your relationships?

Shame is the wound of not belonging.

We feel alone, unseen, unheard, unwelcome or not wanting to be seen. This disruption in connection with a significant other can disconnect the person from themself or another, and activate a feeling of shame.“

When the intense suffering of shame is met with compassion, it releases its clinging toxic tentacles. We realize that we are not alone, and can once again breathe and move with vitality.” Brene Brown

Acknowledging what is already gone is part of courage and clear seeing.

Letting go of what is not possible opens space for what might be. Letting go of shaming ourself for not manifesting earlier dreams opens up our hearts.

What do I need to let go of to make room for the new?

What does my heart know? What do I grieve? What do I long for?

How would I know I deserve protection if I wasn’t protected? 

How would I know I need to protect my children from emotional hurt if I wasn’t protected as a child? 

Does my body know I can count on protection from parents and teachers if they have not protected me in the past?

We have all experienced feeling and acting with courage

We have all experienced backing down or being disappointed in ourselves

What gets in the way of being more consistently courageous?

I can take the risk to fully know myself and let myself be known by others, to live with vulnerability and authenticity, and to speak up and "tell all of my heart".

Who gains when we hate our bodies and believe we are broken? People who make money from our self-hatred. Seeing the roots of this pervasive conditioning more clearly, we can take steps to heal.

My nervous system is not convinced it is okay for me to “be here”.

What part of my wild heart do I hide from myself? Where do I put on the brakes and not let myself know and have what I really want?

What part of my wild heart do I hide from others? Where am I trading authenticity for inclusion? Why? Is this as necessary as it once was?

Our trauma history has taught us that vulnerability is dangerous.

In the face of violence and oppression, our soft front can be a liability. We struggle to find a place emotionally and physically safe enough to be vulnerable.

Our armor is keeping us from growing and being authentically ourselves. Vulnerability involves uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.

I can tolerate disappointing people

What happened in your body as you read these words? I felt a heaviness in my chest. I took a deep in breath and a long exhale and softened my neck and shoulders.

Two months ago I made a big decision. I had been thinking about it for awhile.

We can spend our entire live betraying ourself and choosing fitting in over standing alone. But once we’ve stood up for ourself and our beliefs, the bar is higher. A wild heart fights fitting in and grieves betrayal.” Brené Brown

“Interrupting our destructive habits and awakening our heart is the work of a lifetime. Sometimes when things fall apart, that’s the big opportunity to change.” Pema Chodron

Our way of life breeds unhappiness. Ayurveda teaches harmony with nature and how to live in a state of balance. This requires changing how we live, think and perceive.

As we learn to use the mind like a tool, we stop being dominated by impulses & conditioning. We are able to go beyond the mind into the stillness of Consciousness itself.

Working with the five koshas, we relax our body, our breath becomes diaphragmatic and smooth, and we work more skillfully with thoughts in the lower level of the mind (mostly generated by hypervigilance). This opens the doorway to our intuitive wisdom, and to deep layers of peace in the vast silence of the mind.

In this stillness, we develop the capacity to be aware of the ever-present Witness, the part of our being that is ever pure, ever wise, ever free.

Our heart’s natural state is open and loving, so that is what we experience when it is clear of blockages. How do we remove the obstacles? Love everything you do and everyone you see. Choose to focus your awareness on the love instead of your lower self. Love is a natural force in the universe feeding us from the inside. Michael Singer, Living Untethered

“We step up and face the situation (clean pain), or we fold and shrink away. We either grow up or flee. We make an internal commitment to growing up.” Resmaa Menakem, My Grandmother’s Hands.

I am a small-town girl from Saskatchewan, a prairie province in Canada that most people wouldn’t know how to pronounce let alone know where it is. I grew up in a home where I was well cared for physically. No one screamed at or ridiculed us. Neither of my parents struggled with addiction to alcohol or drugs. There was no physical or sexual abuse. I was never afraid for my physical safety and I never witnessed violence at home.

There are two things I say that people are skeptical about or outright don’t believe. The first is that looking at our lives through a trauma lens reveals that most of our reactivity, compulsive thinking, anxiety, depression, fear and dread of social interaction are trauma responses driven by our primitive brain and survival system.