Do we need to trade authenticity for attachment?
Kindness and Compassion 7 practices on this YouTube playlist
Join us live every day 8AM Eastern Zoom http://zoom.us/j/645904638
I am glad you’re here
Take a respite from anxiety and fear
We now live in a different world than before the worldwide pandemic. People are afraid of sudden change because our nervous system triggers our survival responses of flight /fight /freeze /fawn. We feel powerless. Afraid. Full of dread. What will happen? How will I know the best thing to do?
Join us free live online daily
New Expanded Nervous System Rest
Includes time for your insights and concerns
Two Effective Antidotes to Fear
– Educate yourself about the virus (and don’t over-do it)
– Educate yourself about #blacklivesmatter, systemic racism and commit to change
– Calm your system with practices like these
– Take practical steps to protect yourself
– Work with your mind to lessen catastrophic thinking
– Donate and volunteer as you are able
Kindness, Compassion and Connection
– Reach out to people by phone or online video
– Cultivate compassion for yourself and others whose nervous systems are highly activated now
– Be patient with yourself and others as we struggle with emotional self-regulation and fatigue
– Practice kindness and reassurance to calm fear
When Crisis Hits
We are all affected when crisis trauma happens. It could be a tragic accident, a sudden death or loss. This course is for you if you are experiencing that now or if you would like to be prepared by building resilience and strength. First 10 people to use this link receive the course free. Preview all 4 courses, Details and Coupons
Relationships, Authenticity and Attachment
Sundays 10AM Eastern September 6 through October 25
Zoom link: https://zoom.us/j/582534511
Join us! I have waived fees for these classes during the Pandemic.
“We trade authenticity for attachment.” Gabor Maté, MD
We form beliefs based on our experiences. A child who is seen, known and loved believes they are lovable and that people will welcome their authenticity and originality. They are confident and have secure attachments, starting with parents and extending out into friendships, romantic and other relationships. I wish this was a more common experience!
We are conditioned to believe we are “less than” without a successful relationship as defined by the dominant culture that centers the nuclear family as the right kind of family. Heterosexual. Male and female parents with children. Shaming ourselves for failing to have a “you’re my best friend, love you forever” marriage is like a woman with a healthy size ten body feeling like a failure for not having a size one body. We put too much pressure on a primary romantic relationship as a cure-all and an indicator of success. What if we were to first focus on emotional maturity, learning to like ourselves, and being on our own side?
We do not live in a kind, supportive culture. Extended family support is often missing as people move away for jobs or adventure. Some parents are abusive to their children and many more are disconnected – pressured and exhausted by the demands of life. People who are having trouble “coping” are stigmatized as having something wrong with them. Anxiety and depression were skyrocketing even before Covid-19.
The rise of the nuclear family after World War Two as the ideal has contributed to widespread unhappiness, a crisis in parenting, isolation, and neglect and abuse of children. We bring our shaky selves into relationships that can’t possibly fulfill the holes in our hearts. We leave childhood with deeply held core deficiency beliefs that we are not good enough.
We both romanticize what a relationship will bring, and have a profound distrust of and limited ability to form and sustain intimate connections. To add to that, what if you don’t match the dominant heteronormative conditioning? Until the last few decades, we never saw positive representations of LGBTQ2S+ in popular media. There are still a range of reactions and consequences for a professional athlete to come out publicly or for your co-worker to bring their partner to a company function.
What is your childhood conditioning? What are your beliefs about relationships and what your relationship status reflects back about you?
Children have little power and few choices – we trade authenticity for connection to make it through to being an adult. Those patterns stay with us until we see and heal them. How necessary is that trade now? We’ll look at romantic relationships, friendships, family and work. Where do you trade authenticity for fitting in? How can you more accurately access who is safe to share with? How can you widen your window of tolerance and be free to be more true to yourself?
Join us! I have waived fees for these classes during the Pandemic. If you have the funds and can afford it, please donate below. As always, classes are free for regulars in daily practice.
8 Sundays 10AM Eastern September 6 through October 25
Choose Thursday or Sunday
Sunday Women’s Healing Trauma
with Lynn Fraser
Email firstname.lastname@example.org to be added to the wait list
New session September 13 – November 1
8 Sundays 7:00pm Eastern
Thursday Women’s Healing Trauma
Weekly Small Group
with Lynn Fraser
Thursdays September 10 – October 29: 2PM Eastern 19:00 UK is full
Please email email@example.com for the waitlist
This is a small group of 10 women. By signing up for this, you are invited to be my guest for my Sunday 10AM class.
We need safe places to speak our truth. To be listened to, believed and experience the trust that grows from a foundation of kindness and respect. These classes can be that place.
Safety IS the treatment. In this experiential series of classes together we do practices to begin and deepen trust in yourself and nurture authentic kindness and compassion within. We cover the essentials of “how it works” so you understand your body, feelings, nervous system, shame, judgment and the essential role of social trust and connection. You strengthen your capacity to see through and release identification with experiences that commonly lead to core deficiency beliefs of unworthiness, unlovability – that feeling like there is something basically wrong with you. Details
Gabor Maté, James S. Gordon, Pete Walker, Joan Tollifson, Rick Hanson, and 10 more amazing women and men generously gave us help during the Radical Recovery Summit. They’re back with pandemic support bringing more FREE programs, workshops and wisdom. Their brief interviews live HERE
The Healing Place Podcast
Thank you Teri Wellbrock for our in-depth look at trauma-healing strategies. It’s a delight to find passionate like-minded people.
Available on Apple Podcasts, Pandora, Spotify, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Podbean, and more.
Should you want to watch, we’re on Youtube as well.
It was a thrill to be interviewed by Guy MacPherson on the Trauma Therapist Podcast. I have learned so much from his guests over the years.
Listen on iTunes Episode #304. TraumaTherapist.com
Read my blogs about the experience and reflection on my healing journey.
Interview and Telling the Truth
Not Another Anxiety Show Podcast, with Kelli Walker, R.N., M.S.N.
Not Another Anxiety Show Episode #160
Available on Apple Podcasts (iTunes)