Courage

“Courage is to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” Brené Brown

I can take the risk to fully know myself and let myself be known by others, to live with vulnerability and authenticity, and to speak up and “tell all of my heart”.

What is your response to the above sentence? For most of us, it’s not a 100% yes. It is a practice that we work with. Our yes is, and should be, conditional based on our assessment of safety in specific situations.

In our culture, courage is often linked with overcoming or mastering fear. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Courage makes fear sit in a corner and behave. Courage is fear on its knees.

We don’t want to blindly rush into situations where having the courage to be vulnerable might extract too high of a cost. We can work with our nervous system to more accurately assess situations and discern the course of action that is in our own best interest.

This post is about emotional courage, although physical and moral courage are often called upon.

We cultivate the courage to:

• See the truth, invite clarity and insight

• Know and accept ourselves

• See how we shame ourselves, and instead offer compassion and connection

• Be true to ourselves

• Be on our own side and cultivate an empathetic supportive adult self

• Know another with clarity and discernment

• Authentically and vulnerably deeply connect with another

A trauma informed way of cultivating courage is to be aware of the state of our nervous system. We can feel and acknowledge fear while we are emotionally regulated. We are clear about the possible danger and consequences. We are not in a state of freeze where fear keeps us immobilized. We’re not using the hot energy of a fight response to master fear. We’re not pretending or minimizing or running away.

When we are grounded and emotionally regulated, we are at our most powerful.

Somatic inquiry into courage

What is courage? What are some examples of how I am courageous in daily life?

What does courage feel like energetically and somatically in my body? 

Do I have an image or a felt sense of courage?

How can I cultivate the courage to be on my own side and be true to myself?

Do I push myself and use courage to override or dominate my fear responses?

Can I stay vulnerable, grounded and courageous in seeing and knowing myself? What am I afraid of finding out about myself? Can I bring in compassion?

Can I stay vulnerable and grounded and courageous as I take the risk to let myself be known by others? 

We rightly admire courage. Taking a stand helps us to move about in the world without being paralyzed by anxiety and fear. We take a deep breath, square our shoulders, and say the thing. We set a boundary or we share how we feel. We connect.

We work on a deeper level of healing trauma and seeing through false core deficiency beliefs that shame us and keep us playing small. We become somatically aware - we notice when we hold our breath and brace ourselves through our upper back. We release our shoulders and take a few long exhales.

We come back into emotional regulation where we can see clearly and act in our own best interest, whether that is leaving a situation or addressing something head on. For a meaningful life, we need courage paired with self-compassion and connection. This is something we can work with.

Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen. Brené Brown

Would you like to explore this with others? Join us Sundays for our free community class. Our theme this month is Courage and Connection.