Lovingkindness 12 Day Practice

On Monday September 28, we begin twelve days on two practices that build on each other: twelve minutes of breath and twelve minutes of lovingkindness meditation, following the specific format researched by neuroscientist Richard Davidson at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Davidson's research found that 12 days of daily lovingkindness practice produces measurable changes in brain activity, especially in the areas linked to resilience and positive emotion. The practice moves through four people each day, three minutes each: yourself, someone you love, someone neutral, and someone difficult. The difficult person round is the one that asks the most of us. We begin with someone somewhat irritating and move deeper over the 12 days. It is a deeper practice to wish blessings for someone who activates our nervous system.

This connects to something Brené Brown has written about for years. Dehumanizing someone starts small, often with language, when we stop seeing a person as fully human. Davidson's research suggests the reverse can be trained too. As we practice lovingkindness for someone difficult, we're doing the opposite of that narrowing. We are choosing to keep difficult people inside our circle of concern, even while they're activating something uncomfortable in us.

Our breath practice builds capacity. Over twelve days we move through noticing our breath, practicing regulating our nervous system through breath, and end with a slower pace called coherent breathing. We breathe around five to six breaths per minute, where heart rate variability tends to settle into its most regulated rhythm. That groundwork is what makes the lovingkindness half of the practice easier to hold and sustain. When we are in a survival response, we lose our capacity for kindness and compassion. Our breath helps us settle into awareness of safety and open our hearts.

Days one through four build steadiness in the breath alongside a simple foundation in lovingkindness. Days five through eight widen both practices, with more capacity in our breath and more range in who we hold in mind. Days nine through twelve merge the two separate parts and bring breath and heart together as one continuous practice.

Twelve minutes of breath. Twelve minutes of lovingkindness. Twelve days, starting September 28. Two times live - 8AM and 8PM Eastern.

Davidson said that his career has been driven by a central question: “Why is it that certain people are more vulnerable to life’s slings and arrows, and others are more resilient? And how can you nudge people along whatever these continua are to promote more resilience and well-being?”