Wild Heart Living

True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.

True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness.

A wild heart means staying awake to the struggle in the world and fighting for justice and peace while also cultivating moments of joy. We work for justice and we also work to make sure everyone gets to experience what brings meaning to life: love, belonging and joy.” Brené Brown

We’re asked to make all kinds of trades for inclusion. Most of us try to fit in to the surrounding culture, especially as children when it’s a big risk to see things a different way from our parents. As we get older, we may take more risks.

Some of us leave to find a culture and people who accept us, somewhere we naturally feel like we belong and don’t have to hide parts of who we are or fight for belonging. It’s still a challenge.

We've been close to our neighbor for years then during Covid they began getting all of their information from right wing conspiracy theorists on the internet. We have to work at remembering why we care for them and a lot of topics are off the table.

We don’t laugh but we don’t challenge a sexist joke at a family gathering. It’s exhausting to challenge because it happens so often. We have to work at remembering why we care for them and a lot of topics are off the table.

It’s rare for a person to feel completely comfortable being themselves in any environment.

Some of this isn’t hiding, it’s for safety. I’m an older queer woman living alone in a rural area and I’m presumed heterosexual by my neighbors. I’m out in my personal relationships, family, work, and on social media. On my way to the beach I drive by a house with a huge rainbow flag out front. That’s their choice and I respect that. I feel safer staying under the radar in my neighborhood.

We live in a variety of subcultures and parts of ourselves are more welcome in some than others. I enjoy connecting with people who also meditate and are on a spiritual path. We come alive when we’re together. We share without fear of ridicule and knowing we’ll be understood. I don’t share at that depth when I’m around someone who isn’t interested or ridicules it.

Our survival responses of fight/ flight/ freeze/ fawn play a role in this. What is cooperation and what is hiding out and betraying ourselves?

At the core is if we’ve internalized a feeling that we’re wrong or broken. Letting my neighbors presume heterosexuality doesn’t change my internal knowing or make me doubt my worth. The culture of homophobia and heteronormativity is wrong. I’m not.

We can be worn down by compromising who we are in our relationships. My ex-partner was resistant to my meditation and it became easier to avoid confrontation. Over time, that energy affected me and I didn’t meditate as much. It wasn’t until I left the relationship that I saw the price I paid for “going along to get along”.

We flourish with people who know and value us as we are.

Bring yourself into presence - grounded somatically, oriented to the present moment, aware of your breath, and your wild heart, your authentic self.

Using all your senses, recall a situation where to fit in you had to hide part of who you are. Witness your thoughts and how that feels in your body. Then let that go, take a few deep breaths, and return to neutral.

Bring to mind a time when you know you truly belonged. You might be alone or with others. What are the visuals, thoughts, emotion, and your felt sense?

What part of my wild heart do I hide from myself? Where do I put on the brakes and not let myself know and have what I really want?

What part of my wild heart do I hide from others? Where am I trading authenticity for inclusion? Why? Is this as necessary as it once was?

It is important to not shame ourselves. Where we are on that continuum of betraying ourselves to fit in or standing strong in our truth is highly affected by our nervous system - our perception of threat and our survival responses of fight/ flight/ freeze/ fawn. We can be kind with ourselves as we see with more clarity.

We can cultivate this as an ongoing practice: with a strong back, soft front, and welcoming my own tender, wild heart, I come forward into the world and share my authentic self.

I feel safe to be who I am. I know my place in the wilderness. I honor and support myself in wild hearted living.

Join to inquire and share wth other wild hearts in our Sunday free community class each week.