Remembering Who We Are
Returning to Wholeness Through Somatic Presence and Self-Compassion
Building a stronger mind frees us from the old ways we hardened our hearts and shamed ourselves. We want to heal, becoming more kind and connected. Can we do that from knowing that as we are right now, we are basically good? We might have some patterns still that are causing trouble for us and there is more to us than our habits and conditioning.
Maybe we tend to shutdown, or go into a fight or flight response. We can see that's not really optimal, and yet, can we acknowledge that in a way that doesn't shame us? I find the more we know about our nervous system, how we perceive our level of threat or safety right now, and then how the nervous system generates these responses, fight, flight, freeze, fawn, that we see we are not broken or faulty.
Could we experience ourselves as being greatly influenced by our environment? People are a set of processes as much as anything else. We have experiences, we form beliefs. Somehow we find our way to healing environments like this one, and we soften our hearts and bodies. We start to breathe and we bring ourselves into our heart. We have a glimmer of understanding and of knowing that actually there's nothing wrong with us. We are whole. We have basic goodness.
The true nature of our mind is joy and light, wisdom, bliss, and that's already here. We might have to sort through some layers of clouds to get to it, but it's already there. It is who we are.
Understanding Our Nervous System Without Shame
As we move through life, we detect danger, and our nervous system mobilizes to protect us. We then judge ourselves for shutting down, feeling anxious, or withdrawing because we see our survival responses as failures. In fact, the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn patterns are not flaws.
As we learn more about the nervous system, we begin to see our patterns with fresh eyes. They are not signs of weakness. They are learned responses to perceived danger. With this awareness, we can let go of shame, and meet ourselves with compassion.
It's easy to forget our true nature because the lower level of the mind, the catastrophic thinking, the nervous system, have a very loud voice. It is painful when we shut ourselves out and turn against ourselves. Core deficiency beliefs are not true. What is true is that often we act unconsciously.
Act as if you know you are already free
Imagine what it would feel like to embody that truth. A relaxed body. A mind free from anxious loops. A face free of strain and worry. Even if it’s not fully our experience yet, we can practice feeling into it. As we do, the nervous system begins to recalibrate. We move from survival to safety, from pressure to presence.
Tap into the deep wisdom and stillness of the mind itself. We might witness thoughts in the mind and have compassion for ourselves that we are stuck with these troublesome thoughts in our mind. We could allow ourselves to rest and be supported by the wisdom of the mind. The thoughts that are going through our brain are not who we are. They might be a worry, a memory, maybe a visual representation of an idea of ourselves, but that's not all of who we are.
If we lived in a world where we could speak our truth, not managing what we say in order to keep the peace or to protect ourselves, perhaps our jaw would be relaxed instead of clenching our teeth. Feel that. Bring that to life in your mouth and tongue. I can speak freely. That's not true historically for us and it might not be completely true right now in our life but we could imagine this. I am free to speak my mind. I'm free to be authentic, speak what's in my heart.
Notice the energy behind your heart center and in front of your heart center. Imagine - if I didn't need to defend my heart at all, I could be open-hearted, compassionate, loving.
Emotions flow in and they flow through. All emotion is acceptable. If I have a mean thought or if I have a self-deprecating thought or if I have an emotion of jealousy or whatever it is, it doesn't mean that I'm bad. That's part of the process of being human. We would be completely confident that it's okay to feel, to let in the grief or the anger or the despair, and the joy and the giggles and the happiness. This is part of being human as well, we have emotion.
Imagine if I was completely acceptable to myself as myself
What would that feel like to move about in the world loving myself? Notice your whole body, thoughts in your mind, and also your felt sense of who you are, your Being - whole, filled with joy, knowing the stillness of the mind. This is also who we are, in addition to the person who likes to swim, or who gets in arguments, or is frustrated in traffic, or loves to play cards, or all those things that we do. Rest your awareness in a deeper level for a moment, the level of your Being.
Return to the deepest truth of who you are. Beneath the personality and the stories, there is a still presence. A wise inner adult. A place of love and joy and knowing.
Even when we’re caught in old habits or difficult situations, we can remember who we are. This remembering is a lifelong practice. We will forget and remember again and again. Each time we come back to this knowing, it becomes more familiar and embodied.
We don’t need to become someone else to be worthy of love. We simply need to remember who we already are.
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