Being Human
Like all of us, I experience joy and connection and hope at times. Like everyone, I also experience uncertainty and fear. Through decades of practice, I have highly developed somatic mindfulness, meaning that I am generally aware of sensations and energy in my body and associated thoughts. I have many powerful practices that support me, including to remember to take deep relaxing breaths as I write this. The next few paragraphs outline some dynamics of “how we got here”. Feel free to skip to the next section if you like.
Our nervous system in the modern world
I find myself saying this a lot - our world right now is challenging. Our nervous systems developed in very different circumstances than the noisy sensory explosion most of us live in. We have a negativity bias and are hijacked by a nervous system that struggles to accurately assess safety and danger.
We evolved to take our cues about safety from each other. If someone in our small family group became alert for danger, we also became vigilant. Some people had better hearing or vision and our survival improved if we paid attention. With the high level of anxiety many people experience now, this strategy for keeping us safe became maladaptive. We pick up anxiety and fear from others and it amplifies our own, creating a cycle of endless worry.
To handle the many challenges in life, we developed the capacity to think ahead to what might go wrong. With this information, we can be as prepared as possible to keep ourselves safe. This system works well when our nervous system is regulated and we have access to our wisdom and intuition. When we are afraid, we are in a survival response and we are vulnerable to believing these negative thoughts that spiral out of control and hold us hostage. This increases our fear, and others around us also become more anxious and worried.
Our brain believes what we think, especially the evidence of our own eyes. About 30% of our brain’s activity relates to processing visual input. This system evolved over millennia to help us assess safety and danger. What we saw through our own eyes was in our immediate vicinity, whether that was the safety of our family around the cook fire, a predator in the bushes, or other danger.
By the late 1950’s, television had become widespread in most developed countries. The evidence of our own eyes, what we could previously count on, is no longer relevant in the same way. We became alarmed at footage like the Vietnam war, but there was no immediate action that can keep us safe. The danger was far away and not in the present moment. Our brain and nervous system can’t shift and evolve that quickly. Now with AI and deep fakes, information bubbles and the outright lying by so many, we have no way of knowing what and who to trust. This amplifies fear and anxiety.
You are not broken because you have a nervous system that is struggling
The first step in change is awareness. We can learn about our nervous system and how it works. One benefit of this is that we begin to feel powerful, instead of overwhelmed. Yes we are in a challenging time and yes there are abundance resources to support us. Understanding our nervous system also helps us to release shame. It is not our fault we are struggling.
Somatic Mindfulness - very specifically in this present moment
Look around the space you are in and notice cues of safety. Notice and relax into the support for your body, like a chair, protection from the elements, plants, pictures, people or pets.
In this moment specifically, are you fairly certain your body is safe? Not is the world safe or will your body be safe next week or were you safe ten years ago. Right now in this moment, is it safe enough to relax and breathe? Can you give yourself a break from being strong and handling life and enjoy a few minutes of respite and relaxation? If no, then go handle what needs to happen. If yes, let yourself know that and then practice it again and again. In this moment … We heal through the embodied experiences of safety, even just for a few minutes at a time.
Do something to support your nervous system every day. Relax your body, Develop a habit of smooth continuous diaphragmatic breath to signal safety to your nervous system and allow sufficient oxygen to nourish your body. Practice cyclic sighing or holding your own hand or other tools to support you when you’re activated.
Walk, swim, do yoga, hug your pet or your person. Learn to witness your thoughts, especially catastrophic thinking and inner criticism and do something to break these devastating patterns. Access these many helpful resources here
Come to my free online daily practice or
Connect with others through our Sunday free community class where we learn and share together
Listen to guided practices and courses on Insight Timer
Living well in this world, even with our primitive nervous system
Our brain believes what we think —> visualize yourself as safe, connected and loved
We hold our breath when we are scared to avoid detection by a predator —> track your breath so you notice sooner and develop a smooth continuous habit of breath
Be discerning about what you bring in through your senses —> limit the amount of exposure to alarming visual images and bring in memories of joy and safety
Monitor how much you are planning ahead —> now you recognize when it shifts into catastrophic thinking and you can bring yourself back to a more accurate assessment of reality
We all need each other. We are hardwired to feel safer when we are connected with people who care about us. Social anxiety makes sense given our personal history and the world, AND we can take steps to overcome our urge to isolate and develop stronger social supports.
Try some of these practices or join me live for a few weeks and see what changes
Cyclic Sighing as a practice and for a few breaths when you need to regulate
Look through my Insight Timer practices and try a few
Take a few small steps then a few more. Relax your jaw and shoulders. Breathe. Do something you enjoy.
Join us any or every day at 8AM Eastern for free online daily practice. Sundays at 10AM.
We are not meant to do this alone.