Rebuilding Social Trust
Social situations often feel threatening because of past experiences of being excluded, ridiculed, or harmed. If early experiences in family, school, or community taught us that connection was unsafe, we became cautious. Over time, this caution may grow into social anxiety. The isolation of the COVID pandemic made this widespread, and current world events continue to put us on guard.
We are designed to seek belonging and inclusion
In safe environments, our brain develops networks that support connection. In unsafe ones, we develop vigilance and protective strategies. Sometimes this shows up as obvious panic before a social event. More often, it appears as quiet avoidance. We tell ourselves we do not feel like going and may not realize that fear is influencing our choice.
“Safety is both the absence of threat and the presence of connection.” Dr Gabor Maté
Humans need connection. The experience of feeling secure at home helps our nervous system. Watching familiar characters in a long-running TV series can help us feel part of a group and it can be soothing. And it cannot replace real-life relationships.
Rebuilding social trust can begin with small, manageable risks. Volunteering is a helpful option. It provides a structured environment, shared purpose, and opportunities for safe connection. Even online volunteering can be effective. Calling an isolated senior or helping in a community project over video can expand our comfort zone.
Body-based tools help reduce anxiety before and during interactions. Try calming breaths with long exhalations. Relax your forehead and shoulders. Notice your feet are grounded. These cues signal safety to the nervous system. In conversation, speak in longer sentences and pause before taking a breath. This slows the pace and helps you feel calmer.
We can practice to rebuild social trust
When facing a challenging social situation, break it into small steps. Imagine each stage in detail. Notice sensations in your body. Pay attention to thoughts and images that arise. Use tapping, cyclic sighing breath, or grounding exercises to return to a calmer state of nervous system regulation before you move to the next step.
Over time, this experience helps us see threats more clearly. Our brain has a negativity bias and always brings forward the worst case scenario. This works against us in social trust. If we distrust everyone, we protect ourselves but we miss out on the wonderful people and relationships that are safe enough.
These practices reduce catastrophic thinking and build resilience. By combining body awareness, visualizing it turning out well, then gradually supporting ourselves to move into real-world practice, we can reconnect with others in ways that feel safe and satisfying.
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