Connecting in Community

Thank you everyone for our discussions this weekend about how we are connecting, what is particularly valuable and enjoyable, and your reflections and suggestions for the upcoming months. Click here for information about our Sunday free community class.

We come to practice being in community, being compassionate with ourselves and each other, listening carefully and mindfully, and being witnessed ourselves. Ours is a trauma informed spiritual community where we can practice and experience “safe enough” and belonging. We experience this on many levels and ways - in our somatic mindfulness inquiry, small groups and sharing in the larger group.

Generally people feel there is a good balance and flow: 20 minutes of a topic (with slides), half hour of small groups then sharing in the larger group for 10 or 15 minutes.

Many welcome the idea of assimilating time between topics, perhaps a 4 to 6 week topic focus followed by a week or 2 of reflection and sharing.

People have great ideas about future topics, including revisiting the basics like core deficiency beliefs, working with compulsive thoughts, intuition vs inner critic, knowing our gift in the world, death, and relationships.

Our September focus will be on friendship and will include authenticity, low vigilant relationships, boundaries, giving and receiving unsolicited advice, authenticity, etc.

This coming Sunday we’ll work with how to be together in small groups. For some, the small groups are their favorite part and a time to witness and be witnessed. For others it is too risky.

There is not perfect safety. Based on our past experiences, we will be sensitive to or activated by some things. Sometimes people in our group are grounded and regulated. Other times someone might be activated and forget to share time or jump in with unsolicited advice.

Sharing circles are a somatic mindfulness practice. What is it that I want to share? What's going on in my body right now? Am I feeling really activated? Can I settle my nervous system enough to tune into intuition?

Our intention is to be with each other with kindness, patience and a regulated nervous system.

We have tools and rules. It can help to pause and breathe before you begin sharing. We slow things down so we are aware of what we’re saying and not saying. We share without trauma dumping. We stay away from sharing details that could be activating for others in our group.

We have a very specific purpose - to tune into our own somatic experience and to share authentically and safely with others. We have time to notice our own survival responses - I’m fawning and want validation. I’m getting really irritated with that person who is taking too much time. There is a lot going on that we can work with!

Most of our work is internal somatic inquiry. We also have agency. We’re not stuck. We can interrupt by addressing something, or exit the breakout room. You could ask me to join the small group for help, or email me later about it.

There are more and less skillful ways to speak to something in the moment. I notice we have 6 minutes left and 2 people haven’t yet spoken. Could you wrap up what you’re saying so we can give them the opportunity to share? OR Lynn asked at the beginning that we stay in our own lane and not offer advice. I feel uncomfortable with your comment. 

There is no right or wrong. We come back into mindfulness. How am I experiencing this? What's my response? What's my reaction to this? Can I come back into regulation and perhaps offer some kindness to that person as well as to myself? 

We all have a lot of past direct evidence that people aren’t always safe. People hurt us when they are dysregulated and in a survival response. We are often clumsy. In our Sunday community, we come with an intention of being present, well regulated and kind. We do our best. We take risks and widen our window of tolerance. This is rich ground for learning and healing.

Our Sunday community norms here.

Please email me lynnfraserstillpoint@gmail.com with your thoughts. I’d love to hear from you! You are welcome to join us live if you can. Click here.