When Our Capacity Changes
I worked at AIDS Calgary for seven years in the late eighties and early nineties. It was a time when contracting HIV led to AIDS and most people died. There were some “social niceties” and phrases that I stopped using.
How are you? Did I really want to take the time to hear how the person was feeling? People generally use that as a form of hello and are surprised if they get a “real” answer. I trained myself to say Hello, it’s good to see you. I only asked how are you with people where I had the time and interest to engage and listen.
In a conversation with a person living with AIDS about why many people were so resistant to change in the agency, he said that basically everything was changing for the worse. He was losing his health and capacity and he wasn’t gaining anything meaningful.
When our life and safety feel out of control, it can be difficult to open our lens and see from a wider perspective. Some try to lock in control where we can. We might become rigid and hard hearted.
Cultivating Strength and Resilience: Embracing Change and Letting Go
Life is full of transitions, many of which challenge our sense of self and our ability to cope. It takes incredible strength to acknowledge and accept reality, especially when it is difficult, complicated, or far from what we had envisioned. An ongoing practice of acceptance, though often uncomfortable, is a foundation of resilience. This week we’re exploring lessons on navigating life’s changes, grieving losses, and discovering new types of strength.
Acknowledging and Accepting Reality
One of the hardest things we can do is face the truth of our circumstances. This might mean acknowledging physical limitations, accepting a change in our abilities, or simply recognizing that life no longer looks the way we had hoped. It’s tempting to resist or ignore these realities, but true strength lies in working with them directly.
Reflection Questions:
What am I holding on to that is no longer true?
What am I struggling to accept about my current reality?
The process of acceptance is less about giving up and more about creating space for growth and adaptation. By letting go of what no longer serves us, we may uncover new possibilities.
Grieving and Feeling
Change often brings loss, and with loss comes grief. It is important to allow ourselves to feel this grief—to let it move through our bodies instead of suppressing or denying it. This practice is vital for healing and moving forward.
Reflection Questions:
How does grief, exhaustion or frustration feel in my body?
How can I create space to feel my emotions fully?
Grieving is not a sign of weakness. It is a testament to the depth of our connection to what we’ve lost.We pave the way for greater emotional resilience by honoring our feelings.
Navigating Physical and Emotional Changes
When our bodies no longer operate as they once did, it’s easy to feel frustrated or even betrayed. We may struggle to do the things we once took for granted and question our ability to manage daily life. These feelings are valid. This is a time to hold ourselves with kindness and compassion.
Reflection Questions:
Do I have enough strength and resilience in my body for my daily life?
What can I change to accommodate my new reality?
What beliefs do I hold about my value if I’m not as productive or capable as I used to be?
By exploring these questions, we can begin to redefine our sense of worth and find ways to adapt to our new circumstances.
Cultivating Strength and Resilience
Strength isn’t just physical; it’s also emotional, mental, and spiritual. When life challenges us, it’s an opportunity to cultivate resilience in all these areas. Consider these forms of strength:
Emotional Strength: Staying grounded, present, and available.
Clarity and Wisdom: Gaining perspective and understanding.
Courage: Naming reality and standing up for yourself and others.
Endurance: Maintaining a long-term perspective and persevering through challenges.
Compassion: Extending kindness and keeping an open heart.
Strength grows through practice and patience. Each time we face adversity with courage and grace, we build a deeper reservoir of resilience.
Letting Go to Discover New Strength
Letting go of what no longer serves us is a powerful act of transformation. When we release outdated beliefs, unmet expectations, and past identities, we create space for something new to emerge.
Reflection Questions:
If I open my hands and let go of what is no longer, what other types of strength might I discover?
What opportunities or insights might come into my life?
As we practice acceptance and release, we may find strength we never knew we had—the strength to adapt, to persevere, and to embrace life with greater compassion and wisdom.
Life’s changes and challenges can be overwhelming, and they also offer profound opportunities for growth. By acknowledging reality, grieving our losses, and cultivating resilience, we can navigate these transitions with courage and grace. Letting go of what no longer serves us isn’t easy, but it allows us to uncover new possibilities and discover the true depth of our strength.
What might you find if you open your hands and release what’s holding you back?
In this week’s Sunday free community class, we continue a several week focus on strength and resilience. You are welcome to join us! Details and link here.