Mother Earth
On a hot day in Saskatchewan, my friend and I would ride our bicycles along dusty prairie trails to a clearing in a poplar grove on the edge of town. We’d spend hours laying on our backs, staring at clouds, the dry grass smell in our nostrils, and the buzzing of bees and the clacking of grasshoppers as the soundtrack of our summer. Late nights we lay on chill dewy grass looking up at the brilliant Milky Way of stars in the dark prairie skies.
In my body, I felt a deep connection with the Earth and the Sky, my muscles and lungs working hard as I cycled, collapsing bonelessly onto the grass to look up. In those years before puberty and teenage trauma, I felt strong and I belonged in my body.
“The effect of trauma is that we disconnect from ourselves, our sense of value, and the present moment.” Gabor Maté MD
In my late thirties, I came out of a persistent freeze response to reintegrate back into a sense of connection in my body. I rode my bicycle again for the first time in decades. I swam in a cold mountain lake and warmed up on a smooth rock in the sun.
Thirty years ago I began meditation and yoga. I began to deeply connect with an alive stillness within. I experienced oneness with the rhythmic breathing of the waters of the lake, and with an osprey soaring along the coast at the ocean where I had come to live.
My body softens and my mind stills when I am directly on the Earth. I’ve always felt safer in nature than with people. In 2005 as I was healing from being physically assaulted while riding my bicycle to work, I spent hours alone walking in the mountains and sitting alongside the rushing cold waters of the creeks and rivers.
I feel at home in the forest and rejuvenated with immersion in the water. I feel nurtured and reassured. I live in my body in a tiny home (without some conveniences) in a forest at the ocean and with easy access to clean lakes to swim. I connect with nature and with people - family and friends.
I am dipping again into an even deeper layer of connection with my body and the Earth, Fire, Water, Wind and Air. I am exploring Mother Earth, the Trees and Water as Consciousness, as Beings. I am familiar with and feel at home with the stillness in my mindbody and now I am expanding my awareness to nurture this realization of myself as part of Mother Earth.
I feel this as a deeper healing of the disconnection I experienced in my teen years. A coming home to myself as not alone. I am an integral part of the field of energy and awareness.
Some people grow up feeling connected with God, Jesus or patron saints and call on them for help. They are real to them and part of their world. Others reach out to spiritual guides or angels. Some know they are part of Mother Earth, the trees and water. I remember longing for that connection. I knew there was something more than daily life and I didn’t know how to realize that.
Meditation brought me closer. Now I am sensing a deeper connection is to remember and cultivate and nurture knowing that I am part of a whole, an energy field that is not disembodied, and that I can connect with through Earth Mother, the waters and trees.
If you are looking for deeper connection or sensing this as a pathway for you, join Earthkeeper Nukumi Selina Mu the next four Sundays as she invites us to come into connection with Earth Mother. Details are here.