Am I safe (enough) in this moment?
At times there is a present moment threat. We are accurately assessing that we are not safe in the moment.
Danger can be physical, emotional, social, relational. We can be in situations of long term chronic fear and danger within our home or community. We might experience a sudden spike in danger then a return to a lower level of threat.
Neuroception is a term for how our body, brain and nervous system decides how safe we are in any given moment.
We have a negativity bias, meaning that we are more alert to danger than safety. Hypervigilance is passed to us through our ancestors. If they weren’t paying attention to possible danger, they would not have survived.
Our goal is to be more accurate in our assessment moment to moment.
When we’re in danger, we go into survival responses of fight/ flight/ freeze/ fawn. These are meant to get us through short term danger but they get stuck in our system. We need to come out of survival mode when the immediate danger has passed so that we can relax, breathe, nurture our system and build resilience for the next time.
Trauma is stored in our body as sensations and energy. When we’ve been chronically afraid or stressed, we have tension in our body - clenched teeth, shoulders up around our ears, tight gut. This becomes a habit even when the danger has passed. We need to practice releasing that tension and relaxing our body.
We develop a habit of holding our breath, which was necessary when we were in a dangerous situation and didn’t want to alert a predator to our location. When it becomes a habit, it signals ongoing danger which further alarms our nervous system. As we realize we’re holding our breath, we can turn that around and develop a habit of smooth, continuous diaphragmatic breathing that signals safety to our nervous system.
Does your mind go into catastrophic thinking, trying to prepare for every bad thing you can imagine? That is alarming to our nervous system. It helps to look ahead to be prepared and we need to stop a habit of compulsive catastrophic thinking that feeds unnecessary levels of hypervigilance. There are tools for thought that we can use to break the trance of worst-case-scenario thinking.
We are never completely safe and our nervous system never completely lets down its guard. We are always scanning for danger through our eyes, ears and other senses. We can also use our senses to calm our nervous system and reduce stress.
More accurate assessment of the level of threat in this moment allows us to relax and enjoy moments when the level of danger is lower, and to build strength and resilience for when we need it again.