Neuroception is an unconscious assessment of threat

It has a negativity bias - it pays more attention to danger

It initiates survival responses based on what worked in the past

We can increase the accuracy of our neuroception

Freeze is a state of feeling numb, and disconnected

We tighten up and hold our breath to avoid detection and for protection

Freeze takes the edge off of painful, overwhelming experiences

We need to gently come out of freeze up into sympathetic arousal of fight or flight

Freeze can be a persistent response over decades

It’s hard to connect with someone encased in layers of numbness so our relationships aren’t as deep

We miss the signs of danger when we’re in freeze, and don’t protect ourselves or others in our care.

This guided inquiry gives us an opportunity to connect with the part of us that is frozen and needs support to open up

We use grounding tools to stay present as we explore what it feels like to be in a freeze response

In a freeze response, we're disconnected from our body and relationships

To come out of freeze, we need to feel, and that can feel scary or like it's too much effort.

A fight response is an unconscious strategy to deal with danger or threat

It is fiery and can feel dangerous and out of control

It can give us a sense of agency, which we prefer over feeling powerless

We are fighting for our life and may lash out, saying things we later regret

We avoid or walk on egg shells around someone who is easily triggered into a fight response

A fight response is very different from feeling and expressing anger

Feeling our anger is the way to defuse a fight response

We may or may not express the anger

In this somatic inquiry we focus on what it feels like to remember being in a fight response, and the different way it feels to be angry

Notice when you are in a fight response by awareness of sensations in your body and of your thoughts

Recall the feelings and use grounding tools to stay self-regulated so we can feel anger without it stimulating a fight response

Defuse fight response

Practice connecting with attuned empathy to our younger self who wasn't allowed to be angry

Most of our threats now are social and relational

We flee when we can't afford to see and feel what's here

Flight energy makes us feel edgy and restless

We might move physically, and more often we escape into screens and other avoidance strategies or addictions

Our culture encourages flight through addictions, screens, distractions

This is an old habit that may not be necessary now

Is it safe to stay?

This somatic inquiry is a slow motion walk through a social situation that is difficult for us

We begin with more accurate neuroception to notice people who are supportive of us, and using our senses to notice cues of safety

We use our breath and grounding tools as we slowly move through each part, coming back to regulation each time, then moving to the next step

Our neuroception detects a social threat and sometimes we go into people-pleasing

This is a social engagement strategy to increase inclusion and reduce rejection

This can be subtle and relatively benign or requiring compliance

We go along and don't act in our own best interest

Fawning and submission are not respected in our culture

We often shame others and ourselves for sucking up

Fawning is different from cooperating

This inquiry gives support to recognize when you are people pleasing

We don’t choose our survival responses

People pleasing is a conditioned behavior and it helps to look at our history with it

As adults, we have more agency and choices

This inquiry works with releasing shame or humiliation

We use several grounding tools to self-regulate

We practice not going along, and using helpful phrases we could say when we're being coerced

We come back into kind connection with ourselves

There are many reliable ways to regulate our nervous system

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Links to supportive practices