When nervous system dysregulation is at the root of someone monologuing at us, what are our options? This might be someone we care deeply about and want to be there for. What does it cost us to be subjected to their dysregulation over time? Do we consent?

It is hard work to remain grounded when we’re around people with dysregulated nervous systems.

We can’t change the past. We can’t transform our parents into lovingly supporting us. If they have done their own work, that’s a bonus.

We ourselves can take on the job of extending empathy and supporting ourselves. We can stop the inner critic attacks.

We can learn to be consistently reliable and kind to ourselves. We can be the “good enough” parent we didn’t have.

Who can you invite to be on your side? To support and encourage you? To provide unconditional love and encouragement?

Visualize your inner nurturing community in a semi circle around you. They are kind and honest and supportive. They have your back.

Invite the inner critic into the circle. We are listening to your concerns. What is it I need to know? Why are you here?

I’m On My Own Side

What would have to change for this to be more true?

• Know who I am

• Nurture a connected, empathetic relationship with my mind, body and breath

• Stop shaming and criticizing myself so I can

• Respect, accept, and honor myself

If we all cultivated more kindness for ourselves, that would be a worthwhile practice in 2024.

What does my heart know?

What do I long for?

What is in the way that can move to completion?

I open my fists and let it go

What does my heart know?

As my mind quiets, I become more comfortable with the energy in my heart.

My adult self is present and supports traumatized parts that are still experiencing fear without trying to avoid or “fix”.

I come back to witness consciousness, present to myself, my whole body, breath, energy.

I rest in the heart and listen.

“The heart is the fourth chakra, not the seventh. It is the door to spiritual states. Our work is with the consciousness coming to bear in the heart, to be there with it, to bear witness.

We have the mind being quiet and we have the heart being a neat place to be.

Now you're ready to take your spiritual journey.” Michael Singer

Just the presence of consciousness is a healing force.” Michael Singer

It doesn’t work to protect ourselves by armoring up and closing our heart. By being present with and witnessing our heart, we develop strength and steadiness. We feel our emotions and they move through. We’re no longer scared of the content of our heart.

“The root of the mind is the heart.

How do you then work with this heart? Relax. You literally work with it like a mother would work with a child. You hold it. You be loving.

You don't expect other people to do that. It doesn't work. You have to do that.

You have to bring that love, perseverance, strength, and consciousness to the heart and you will find, and this is like a miracle, that if you just be there with it, that it will heal.” Michael Singer