Flourishing Together
Thriving as individuals is deeply intertwined with the well-being of our communities. To flourish together in community we need to nurture meaningful connections, foster mutual growth, and create environments where everyone can thrive.
Community involves shared experiences, common goals, and a sense of belonging, emotional support, and purpose. When people come together with genuine care for each other, they create spaces where vulnerability is welcomed, joy is shared, and challenges are faced collectively.
A supportive community offers a safety net, providing emotional support, encouragement, and practical help during tough times. When one member struggles, others step in to lend a helping hand, fostering collective resilience.
In a community based on shared interests, like our Stillpoint community, we have a lot in common and we have a rich diversity of experiences and perspectives. By engaging with others, we learn, grow, and expand our worldviews. We take the risk to share authentically and honestly.
"Safety is not the absence of threat; it is the presence of connection." Dr Gabor Maté
Humans are inherently social beings who crave connection. Most of us live in neighborhoods with people we don’t know or trust because of different political views and ethics. Queer people often move to bigger centers where we can find “our people” and experience joy and connection with chosen family. We might move due to a lack of acceptance by people who feel threatened by our lifestyle and sometimes we fear for our safety. To feel like part of a community, we need to feel safe to be who we are, ideally most of the time, or at the minimum with some people.
Building Flourishing Communities
Empathy is the cornerstone of strong communities. It involves active listening and genuinely understanding others’ feelings and perspectives to build trust and deepen relationships. I am seeing this as especially challenging with the current right/left political divide, especially with the heightened fear and anxiety we’re experiencing now.
The fear mongering in many so-called “news” shows encourages a split where people on “our side” are human and people on the “other side” are dehumanized. My sense is that regulating our nervous systems is the foundation of remembering our common humanity. When we feel threatened (socially, financially, physically, emotionally) our nervous system initiates survival responses of fight/ flight/ freeze/ fawn and we literally cannot access empathy and compassion.
My personal experience is that I can find common ground with most people on some level and I have noticed this is harder than it used to be. I know, because I have seen their signs and flags, that there are people in my neighborhood who don’t believe I have the right to exist. I know that as we collectively feel more threatened, our nervous systems are less regulated and I am more cautious than before. Someone in a survivalist fight mode is more dangerous and less open to reason and empathy “across the divide”.
When our nervous systems are activated, there are several concrete steps we can take. One is to reduce the amount of alarming input that makes us more afraid and hypervigilant. We need to stay informed enough without falling into despair or a compulsive trance of catastrophic thinking. This includes news and social media as well as some people. Ranting with or at people or verbally discharging can feel righteous in the moment but is it helping? Often, it’s not.
There is a lot of buzz lately about resting. Octavia Raheem is a rest coach with a new book Rest is Sacred. A few years ago trauma-informed everything was the latest trend and now more people are offering practices to calm and regulate the nervous system. You can find many of mine here and you are welcome to join our relaxation and nervous system regulation practices daily at 8AM Eastern.
I also see people reaching out for each other in their local communities. People we play cards with or say hello to as we’re out walking in our community begin to feel closer and our neuroception (assessment of threat) becomes more accurate. Yesterday I pulled over on our small country road with my flashers on to talk on the phone and two different people stopped to see if I needed help. This increases my feeling of safety.
Who else cares about what you care about?
People are joining together to protest the social injustices we’re seeing and to protect each other. San Francisco, California declared itself a sanctuary city in 1989, prohibiting city funds from being used to assist federal immigration enforcement. Other cities like Chicago and New York have similar laws. Minnesota and California have enacted laws that protect trans people.
It is important that we seek out information about people who are courageously working for social justice. There are politicians at all levels who are ethical and representing their constituents. I feel inspired learning about the work of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Keep reminding yourself of all the courageous people who align with your values and do what you can to participate.
There is a lot we can do to prevent the slide into despair and hopelessness.
Decrease your exposure to alarming news that pushes the fear button and encourages dehumanization and division.
Stabilize and regulate your nervous system through relaxation practices, walking in nature, getting enough rest, music, spending time with friends etc.
Increase connection with like minded people online and in person. Make time to connect with people. We need each other right now.
This March as we move into spring, we are exploring the many ways we can connect and flourish together. One resource we’ll begin with is Flourishing Kin: Indigenous Wisdom for Collective Well-Being, by Dr. Yuria Celidwen. Drawing from her Indigenous Nahua and Maya heritage, Dr. Celidwen integrates Indigenous wisdom with contemporary practices to promote sustainable, collective flourishing. She guides readers toward overcoming isolation, nurturing healthy relationships, and building strong foundations for well-being.
The Ripple Effect of Flourishing Together
In our interconnected world, our well-being is linked to the well-being of those around us. When communities flourish, they inspire others to do the same. This ripple effect spreads positivity, resilience, and hope, impacting individuals, neighborhoods, and our broader society. We are creating a world where everyone has the opportunity to thrive.
By nurturing connections that inspire growth, resilience, and joy, we create spaces where everyone feels valued and empowered to contribute. Join us Sundays in our free community class to experience showing up in a safer space. We build strength and resilience in our personal and communal life.
Details for Sunday class here. Details for daily 8AM Eastern practice here. Latest Insight Timer Lives here.