Feeling at Home in Myself

Lets explore “feeling at home” through Dr Abraham Maslow’s famous Hierarchy of Needs. The two base layers create the foundation for building a meaningful, happy life. We know this intuitively and through personal experience.

We’re white-knuckling it as we drive through a storm then we make it home. We have a sudden pain in our body that grabs our attention and we can’t focus on that creative project. We’ve been hearing rumors about layoffs at work and we walk around clenching our teeth for weeks, worrying about how to pay the bills. We get a new job and gradually our body relaxes. We feel enthusiastic again.

This pattern of the ups and downs of safety weaves its way through our daily life. We have experiences in life and we respond to them.

Our nervous system is the first layer we need to work with because it so easily hijacks us with hypervigilance. Our survival system is evidence based and with a negativity bias. We remember danger so we can protect ourselves. We benefit from regular grounding, orienting and relaxation practices, where we give our system ongoing direct experience of safety in the present moment.

Through somatic mindfulness, we develop more accurate neuroception (perception of threat). The beliefs and strategies we formed as a child are no longer as aligned. We are adults with more agency now. We can work with and see through core deficiency beliefs. We can build a solid foundation, even knowing that these conditions are subject to change.

To feel at home in the world, we need a certain level of consistency and safety. To feel at home in ourselves, that external foundation is helpful. It is also true that we can remain consistently connected and on our own side no matter what is happening in life.

This month, we’re going to explore some of the subtle elements of feeling at home. We need to know ourselves. In western culture, people are conditioned to believe there is something fundamentally wrong with them. Believing this, we turn away from ourselves.

We’re worried about what we might learn about ourselves. The traumatic experiences we have do not make us bad. The experiences were hard and we disconnected and went into fight/ flight/ freeze. We internalized beliefs about ourselves and acted out of them.

Through this work, we come to know ourselves and our experience through a lens of compassion. We become interested in connecting with all of ourselves, especially the scared hurt parts. We connect with attuned empathy. What a relief to come home to ourselves.

Where do you feel solid? Where do you need to heal, expand, or love yourself more? What would have to change for these to feel more true?

I know myself. I love myself. I feel free to be authentic. I am kind and on my own side. I feel at home in myself.

Explore with us during guided somatic inquiry and sharing in our Sunday community class 10 to 11 AM Eastern.