Fear In The Heart

“There is fear in the heart, and that fear expresses itself in the mind. The yogi does not control the world in order to stop the mind from talking. That doesn't work. The yogi leaves the world alone, leaves the mind alone, and with the power of witness consciousness becomes absorbed and centered within the heart.” Michael Singer

We know the power and persistence of our nervous system in being vigilant and trying to protect us. This constant scanning for danger and our negativity bias works better for physical threats and this sensitivity can be too much with emotional and social interactions.

We have primal fear that is very deep. We need connection to survive and we are driven to try to find it. In the Still Face experiment, a mother was playing with her baby then stopped responding. The baby made bids for her attention several times then became distressed until the mother responded again.This isn’t something the baby decided and it’s not something wrong. It is our biology. We literally need connection to survive.

“Every single energy movement affects the heart chakra. That is how sensitive it is.” Michael Singer

We all instinctively know this and we have direct experience with it.

Imagine you are with someone (a memory or in your life now) with whom you feel connected and who brings a smile to your face. Let yourself vividly remember them. What does it feel like in your body? What are the sensations and energies in your heart?

Now bring to mind a time when you felt not included. It could be with the same person in a different time and place, or with someone else. We’ve all had those experiences and they often leap to our mind. We don’t have to go searching for them.

What does that feel like in your body? We don’t want to go there. Like the baby when its mother stopped responding, we feel distressed just putting our attention on it.

What does rejection feel like in your heart? Often we don’t notice or know what’s happening. Our mind starts up, we feel anxious or jittery, or we shut down. We stop feeling because it’s too uncomfortable or threatening. We are activated into survival responses of fight/ flight/ freeze. We’re flashed back to the emotional feeling states of childhood, then we try to get our feet under us again.

We can stop shaming ourselves for this. It is how our system works to protect us. Much of our suffering comes from these deep roots of fear and not knowing how to effectively regulate our nervous system. We can build clarity and resilience through somatic mindfulness, breathing and other grounding practices.

We have sensitive hearts and want to be open to joy in life. Sometimes we’re able to be with our heart and emotions and other times we are more reactive. Our experience in the world is very much influenced by the relative stability or chaos in our nervous system.

As we come back into regulation, we can let go of shame. This is primal. It’s not our fault.

“The root of the mind is the heart.

How do you then work with this heart? Relax. You literally work with it like a mother would work with a child. You hold it. You be loving.

You don't expect other people to do that. It doesn't work. You have to do that.

You have to bring that love, perseverance, strength, and consciousness to the heart and you will find, and this is like a miracle, that if you just be there with it, that it will heal.” Michael Singer

The journey to knowing the energy of our heart is both simple and complex. If you would like company on the journey, join us this week for our Sunday free community class. We inquire and share. Details here.