Freeing Ourselves

Sundays 10AM Eastern July 5 through August 30
Zoom link:
Join us! I have waived fees for these classes during the Pandemic.

Like Pavlov’s dog, we are all conditioned. All the way through human history, our likelihood of survival has been higher when we are included in the family or immediate community. We will do pretty much anything to not get kicked out. What does childhood conditioning look like in adult life?

As a child you knew to be quiet when you got “the look”. As an adult in a meeting with a stern boss, you sink back into your chair, don’t contribute your ideas, then get mad at yourself for not speaking up.

Being ridiculed as a child for crying or being “too sensitive”, you went numb to avoid being shamed and manipulated. As an adult, you are absorbed in thoughts and have trouble with actually feeling. You zone out a lot. You are dissatisfied with the shallowness of your relationships and have trouble opening up with people. Looking back, you feel grief over missed opportunities for connection.

You had an unpredictable childhood and you lived for those sweet times when your family had fun together. For months you came home from school to parents who were engaged and stable then one day it shifted again. You became an expert at reading people. You find yourself with social anxiety, unable to relax your vigilance enough to enjoy being around people. Experiences turn into beliefs. I can’t count on people. I am on my own.

You want to unpack your conditioning around the injustice and the “isms” – racism, homophobia, sexism, gender identity, classism. We need to become aware of our conditioned thoughts and responses to help dismantle the internalized and external structures of oppression, and so we can live in a world where we meet people fresh, as they are .

My prince will come and my life will be wonderful! My value and priority in life is making others happy.

Conditioning is in our animal body, our primitive brain and nervous system, and it operates below the level of ordinary awareness. Enter mindfulness inquiry. Open the door and see what really makes you tick.

We form beliefs based on our experiences. A child who is seen, known and loved believes they are lovable. This is positive conditioning based on their own true experience that important people in their life know them, love them, and include them. When children grow up without a secure attachment and with neglect and abuse, we believe it is happening because there is something inherently wrong with us. This colors our experience throughout our life until we see through it and stop shaming ourselves.

Imagine that all of your conditioned beliefs are hanging out in a structure just to the left of your body. To the right is the empty space of freedom, no conditioning, free will. In this experiential nine weeks of classes, we will inquire into major elements of what keeps us mired in the sticky mess of history and beliefs and experience the open spaciousness of freedom.

“Your life will be governed by what you continue to believe. Your beliefs paint your reality completely.
To you, it might not seem like they are beliefs. They feel like reality.” ~Scott Kiloby

 We cover the essentials of “how it works” so you better understand conditioning: your body, feelings, nervous system, shame, judgment and the role of social trust and connection. You will strengthen your capacity to see through and release identification with experiences that commonly lead to core deficiency beliefs of unworthiness and unlovability – that feeling like there is something basically wrong with you.

What are your beliefs? When we look at thoughts in our mind, many of them come and go without much of a ripple. We’re going to work with the ones that cause a reaction – our gut tightens or our mind compulsively goes into catastrophic thinking. This is where the juice is. We’ll use the Reverse Inquiry to reveal what is unconsciously holding us back and the Kiloby Inquiry tools to free ourselves.

Join us! I have waived fees for these classes during the Pandemic. If you have the funds and can afford it, please donate below. As always, classes are free for regulars in daily practice.

9 Sundays 10AM Eastern July 5 through August 30