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Shame

When We Are Erased

When We Are Erased

Objectification is when we use another person as a way to fill our needs. This isn’t the interaction with others that happens all the time. We are lonely, call a friend and feel better just by feeling understood. They do

fraser-admin March 29, 2021April 6, 2021 Compassion, Defense Mechanisms, Healing, Inquiry, Resilience, Understanding how we work Read more

Perception of Threat

Perception of Threat

Neuroception is our unconscious perception of danger and safety. It is an ongoing involuntary response of our nervous system and it drives more of our life experience than we might realize or want. Our system is set up with a

fraser-admin December 9, 2020December 10, 2020 Compassion, Defense Mechanisms, Healing, Inquiry, mindfulness, Resilience, Shame, Somatic, Understanding how we work Read more

Shame is the fear we are unlovable

Shame is the fear we are unlovable

If you prefer to listen, please click here Shame is a tool to teach young people the rules of our culture, and to maintain social order and hierarchy. It is meant to create an immediate bad feeling to arrest an

fraser-admin September 30, 2020October 3, 2020 Compassion, Healing, Resilience, Shame, Understanding how we work Read more

Someday my prince will come?

Someday my prince will come?

We are conditioned to believe we are “less than” without a successful relationship as defined by the dominant culture that centers the nuclear family as the right kind of family. Heterosexual. Male and female parents with children. Someday my prince

Lane August 5, 2020August 5, 2020 Compassion, Healing, Inquiry, mindfulness, Resilience, Understanding how we work Read more

I advocate for my body

I advocate for my body

What are your conditioned beliefs about your body?  We live in a diet culture that shames us for our bodies. Our ancestors had an unreliable food supply. We evolved to binge when food was available and store it as fat

Lane July 22, 2020July 22, 2020 Community, Compassion, Inquiry, mindfulness, Resilience, Shame, Understanding how we work Read more

Compliance, Defiance and Peer Pressure

Compliance, Defiance and Peer Pressure

Do you find yourself going along with something even when you feel uncomfortable? Compliance is a form of freeze with elements of fawning to someone perceived as more powerful. Do you automatically reject doing what you are told? Defiance can

Lane May 27, 2020May 27, 2020 Coronaviris, Defense Mechanisms, Healing, Inquiry, Resilience, Shame, Uncategorized Read more

The Shame of Not Manifesting Abundance and Healing

The Shame of Not Manifesting Abundance and Healing

Mindbody insights into healing can be used to shame us. People don’t generally say that there is something wrong with us if we don’t heal ourselves, yet it is a common interpretation and experience. There is complexity and nuance in

Lane October 30, 2019October 30, 2019 Healing, Resilience, Shame, Uncategorized Read more

Hurt People Hurt People

Hurt People Hurt People

We have all harmed others. How do we allow that in? I have harmed people I love. How can I sit with the sadness and regret and grief of that? Let’s look at it through a trauma lens. When we

Lane June 19, 2019June 19, 2019 Uncategorized Read more

Inner Critic

Inner Critic

Do you have an inner critic that is always on the lookout for anything you’ve done wrong? That ridicules and shames you for the smallest mistake? That drives you to be perfect and doesn’t let you rest? Would you like

Lane May 8, 2019May 8, 2019 Inquiry, mindfulness, Shame, Thought, Trauma Read more

My Most Interesting Person

My Most Interesting Person

I am the most interesting person to me. What is your first response to that?  Are any of these these familiar from childhood? “Don’t be too full of yourself!” “Who do you think you are?” “Nobody likes a show-off.”  The reasons

Lane April 10, 2019April 11, 2019 Healing, Inquiry, Resilience, Shame Read more

Experiences and Their Meaning

Experiences and Their Meaning

We learn from our experiences by evaluating evidence. We form beliefs based on our interpretation of what happened. Many people have an underlying belief that they are unworthy, not good enough, not lovable or somehow fundamentally wrong. As adults, we

fraser-admin January 23, 2019January 23, 2019 Inquiry, mindfulness, Shame Read more

The Key to Freedom

The Key to Freedom

The energy, sensations and feelings in our body are a rich source of information on what has not yet been resolved and healed. Welcoming and attending to our experience, turning towards instead of away from our feelings, is the key

fraser-admin November 14, 2018 Happiness, Healing, Inquiry, Resistance, Shame, Thought Read more

Healing Scar Tissue

Healing Scar Tissue

A dear friend badly burned her leg a few years ago. The skin partially regenerated but it is still sensitive and papery thin. It will never completely recover. Many people had the experience of not feeling physically safe and protected

fraser-admin October 17, 2018October 18, 2018 Healing, Resilience, Shame, Somatic, Trauma Read more

Memory

Memory

Memory. Last week people all over the world were glued to their screens as a courageous woman who remembered every detail of an attempted rape recounted her experience. And the testimony of a man who might have been lying or

fraser-admin October 4, 2018January 27, 2020 Healing, Shame, Somatic, Thought, Trauma Read more

Trauma Therapist Podcast

Trauma Therapist Podcast

Listen on iTunes episode #304 or The Trauma Therapist Website I was interviewed by Guy MacPherson for the Trauma Therapist Podcast and it went live this week. Guy is experienced and asked good questions (I’m episode #304!). He asked about the

fraser-admin September 12, 2018November 14, 2018 Addiction, Community, Happiness, Healing, Inquiry, Meditation, Resilience, Shame, Trauma Read more

A Big Commitment

A Big Commitment

Is this the right time to make a big commitment to yourself?  You may be interested in my six month program Find Your Stillpoint   I believe in basic goodness We all reflexively avoid pain You are resilient, strong and courageous

fraser-admin September 4, 2018October 5, 2018 Community, Happiness, Resilience, Shame, Trauma Read more

Healing Trauma Retreat

Healing Trauma Retreat

  Last weekend 13 women met at Reconnect and Fall in Love With Ourselves, a healing trauma workshop retreat in a gorgeous old growth Acadian forest at Windhorse Farm. The forecasted showers didn’t happen and we had warm sunshine through the

fraser-admin May 30, 2018June 1, 2018 Community, Healing, Resistance, Shame, Thought, Trauma Read more

Forgiving My Nervous System

Forgiving My Nervous System

Take a few deep breaths and relax your whole body from head to toes. Look at these sentences and notice your response. Someone came up behind me and I jumped a foot. I am frustrated that I startle so easily

fraser-admin April 5, 2018April 5, 2018 Healing, mindfulness, Resistance, Shame, Trauma Read more

What happened to you?

What happened to you?

Oprah said she hopes her piece on childhood trauma on 60 Minutes will be revolutionary. That’s a big hope and I share it. The question is not “What’s wrong with that person?” The right question is “What happened to you?” Childhood

fraser-admin March 15, 2018March 15, 2018 Healing, Shame, Trauma Read more

Allowing Everyone To Be Exactly As They Are

Allowing Everyone To Be Exactly As They Are

Allowing everyone to be exactly as they are. Just the words can create a flurry of activity in the mind. The principle makes sense to us and it is also something we mightily resist! The intensity of our response is

fraser-admin March 1, 2018 Happiness, Healing, Resistance Read more

Shaming Does Not Work

Shaming Does Not Work

There is a pervasive and incorrect belief that shaming is an effective way to inspire change and improvement. Psychological studies and research in the past ten years have proven conclusively that this is untrue. The effects of shaming are that

fraser-admin February 19, 2018February 19, 2018 Happiness, Healing, Inquiry, Meditation, Shame, Trauma Read more

Giving Myself My Own Attention

Giving Myself my Own Attention

The intimacy of witnessing our experience Practices of mindfulness develop the capacity to witness or observe our experience. We can do this anywhere. When we are walking. Dancing. Breathing in sunshine. Checking Facebook. Washing our face. We begin every meditation

fraser-admin January 31, 2018February 2, 2018 Happiness, Healing, Inquiry, mindfulness Read more

Speaking Truth to Bullshit

Speak Truth to Bullshit. Be civil.

In Brene Brown’s extraordinary book Braving the Wilderness, she has a chapter called “Speak truth to bullshit. Be civil.” She speaks about truth in our interactions with other people and points to what is happening inside. Shame can be triggered

fraser-admin January 24, 2018January 25, 2018 Happiness, Healing, mindfulness, Shame Read more

Connection and Safety

Connection and Safety

What stops you from being authentic? From taking a risk and sharing who you really are with someone? Past experience is a factor. We’ve all taken those risks and been shut down. We’ve tried to connect. Sometimes it has worked.

fraser-admin January 11, 2018January 17, 2018 Community, Happiness, Inquiry, Trauma Read more

Alice’s Fund

Alice’s Fund

Alice “If I die before you, will you write my eulogy?” So began a text I received from Alice in the summer of 2017. Alice continued her plea for understanding: “Please explain to my family what happened to my body,

fraser-admin December 7, 2017August 2, 2018 Healing, Shame, Trauma Read more

Seeing Ourselves

Seeing Ourselves

  Seeing ourselves intimately is the beginning, middle and end of our healing journey. In our Friends With The Mind course this week, I shared at the end what I now know to be true.  We are all basically good

fraser-admin October 20, 2017October 29, 2017 Happiness, Inquiry, mindfulness, Shame No Comments Read more

Netflix Binge

Netflix Binge

I feel a bit embarrassed that I watch feel-good shows or movies. It feels like there is something wrong with watching someone else have safe, connected, social engagements with people close to them instead of having them myself. Adult dramatic series

fraser-admin October 6, 2017October 29, 2017 Happiness, Healing, Shame, Trauma No Comments Read more

Radical Recovery

Radical Recovery

What is radical recovery? For two months I have been interviewing an amazing group of thought leaders and innovators involved in the field of addiction and recovery. A common theme is that trauma underlies addiction. “The real calamity of trauma

fraser-admin October 6, 2017October 29, 2017 Addiction, Happiness, Healing, Shame, Trauma No Comments Read more

Your Life Without Shame

Your Life Without Shame

Shaming is meant to correct behavior. It is a way for societies to let their young people know what is acceptable in their culture and what is not. Shaming is experienced as a survival level threat because the punishment can

fraser-admin October 6, 2017March 22, 2018 Healing, Inquiry, Shame, Thought No Comments Read more

Healing Shame

Healing Shame

Shame works on a continuum from healthy to toxic. Shaming is used by all cultures to let people know the rules so they can fit in. Shaming feels intense because we must belong in order to survive. Children die if

fraser-admin October 6, 2017October 29, 2017 Healing, Shame, Thought No Comments Read more

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Find Your Stillpoint Program

WHAT OUR GRADUATES ARE SAYING:
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Recent Posts

  • Stepping Out Into the World Again
  • Don’t Make Me Into a Hashtag #BLM
  • Connection With Reality
  • When We Are Erased
  • Anxiety Talking
  • The Soft Underbelly of Anger
  • Connecting With Our Inner Child
  • Should We Get Back on the Horse?
  • No Justice No Peace
  • The Adults Have Arrived
  • You Complete Me
  • Pain of Not Loving Ourselves
  • Arrested self-protection
  • Righteous Anger and Moral Outrage
  • Connection and Community
  • What could radical recovery look like in our lives?
  • Self-Love and World Domination
  • Cues of Safety
  • I’m Not Giving Up
  • Perception of Threat

"I am really enjoying Lynn's small group for women healing trauma. We are a mix of UK and US and Canadian women which means I'm "meeting" people I wouldn't normally, and hearing their experiences. Lynn leads and explains practices, and you can share your experiences, or something of your life in the last week and listen to the others. Lynn's support and advice to you personally and to the others is really amazing. And she shares all sorts of helpful resources throughout as well." ~ Cait

Lynn has been an influential facilitator for me in my own personal journey in learning how to be free of unnecessary suffering and in my journey of awareness. She is a warm, present, caring, kind teacher of meditation, trauma healing, inquiry, and presence practice. Daniela Hess, Director and Educator, Yoga Farm Ithaca

I want to personally thank Lynn Fraser for the amazing work she has done for the Kiloby Center for Recovery’s Radical Recovery Summit. Lynn has worked tirelessly as our interviewer for RRS. She does it because of her love of this work and her wonderfully compassionate spirit. She has interviewed many of the most innovative leaders in the field of addiction recovery. Lynn, you have advanced the treatment of trauma and addiction. That’s a great service to the world. Thank you, on behalf of myself and everyone at the Kiloby Center, as well as the thousands of people you have helped through your own teaching and facilitating. Lynn is a great teacher and facilitator in her own right. ~ Scott Kiloby

“Lynn is unwavering in her dedication and commitment to healing the nervous system using her unique blend of body-mind practices and insightful inquiry. She humbly exhibits extensive knowledge, understanding and wisdom related to trauma. What mostly calls me to work with her, however, is because I trust her. Over the past year during group and individual online sessions her warm and compassionate presence and supportive listening style has encouraged me to vulnerably risk continuing on the healing journey, build nervous system resilience and develop greater levels of joy in my life.” ~ Alyson Adashko Raskin, Ph.D, School Psychologist, Neurogenic Yoga and TRE (Tension and Trauma Release) provider, Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist, Life Coach

“As a 53-year-old survivor of childhood trauma, I’ve done more than my share of therapy in search of a greater understanding of myself. It wasn’t until I did a trauma education course with Lynn followed by deep exploratory work using the Living Inquiries that I can say that I found what I had been looking for. Lynn has an incredible aptitude for teaching, facilitating the Inquiries and, last but not least, offering connection and hope. I’m very grateful for the work we have done together.” S.

“I could see myself walking on the beach as a person just walking on the beach, not as a person who eats compulsively walking on the beach. Your class and words were so helpful to me on my healing journey. I don’t know if I would have recovered as quickly. That first class just helped me face it and breath into it. And now I can think of it without all that hurt and fear. So very grateful for finding you!!” K.

“I am grateful for Lynn’s sensitivity, integrity and skill as she holds the space for me to feel the fear I’ve unknowingly avoided my entire life. Lynn’s gentle intelligent guidance through inquiry has helped release the velcro that kept my thoughts welded to my gut-wrenching feelings. That welding, that glue drove my self-defeating behaviour. Anyone considering this work could only benefit from Lynn’s compassion and expertise.” L.

“I realized during these practices that I cannot tolerate silence when with other people. I feel I have to start jabbering away to fill in the empty space. Upon meditating about this, what came up for me was when my parents were fighting (often) and yelling at each other, what followed was silence (sometimes for days and days) which as a child was very threatening to me. I have sat with this realization several times and come to the understanding that silence can be safe, comfortable and non-threatening. I totally enjoy listening to others conversations and have resisted the urge to fill in the silent spaces. I am learning so very much from our daily practices and your workshops. I cannot express enough how much I appreciate and thank you for your wise knowledge, honesty and the kindness and patience you show us.” W.

Emotional Flashbacks. This video is truly life changing for me! I turned 40 a month ago & the way you explained this in just a 12 minute video, I NOW understand what the root cause of the unworthiness I've felt my entire life is/was.. I'm having quite a bit of thoughts running through my mind, but I FEEL Liberation & Freedom from the weight I've been carrying for so long... tears of happiness!! I can't thank you enough for doing what you do & making these videos accessible to everyone! I AM WORTHY & not just trying to convince myself that I am... freedom tears 💜J.

Thank you for Radial Recovery Summit. I learned so much about trauma, addiction, and recovery. Thank you, Lynn, for facilitating this amazing event. You did a superb job pulling this event together as well as interviewing the speakers. I look forward to next year's Radical Recovery Summit so I can learn more from such knowledgeable recovery experts sharing their personal experiences and knowledge. S.

I love everything i've heard from Lynn Fraser. She knows how to weave the latest of science based information on how our nervous systems work in with practical easy to follow steps. (also great info graphics). It's not even like you're hearing a technical lecture on a complex subject. (but I know because I'm studying the nervous system science and trauma healing and it is complex). She is skilled at taking the important key information from science and her experience and presenting it in a way that the mind likes to understand and how you can actually put that information into practice. Angela MacLeod

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