We are vulnerable to powerful people who can make us feel that we are safer under their protection. Young athletes having sex with a coach or college students with professors shows the power of being singled out as promising and
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Summer Day, by Mary Oliver Mary Oliver was someone who was very tuned in to her system and to the natural world. Many of her poems
What is happening right now in the space your body is occupying? There are sense perceptions, of the air or clothes on your skin, sounds, wetness in your mouth and the movement of your body with your breath. Are you
The evidence is in. Gratitude practices rock! Oprah. Brené Brown. Scientists. So why do so many people find they turn stale and lifeless after awhile? It’s one more thing to tick off our already overwhelming to-do list. The promises of
We figure it out in our heads long before we feel comfortable with the energy in our body. We are adults now and have the capacity to understand the sequence of events from childhood through to present day. We know
We notice what moves. This is part of the negativity bias in the brain. Being vigilant for potential danger helps keep us safe. Are you held hostage by your primitive brain? This can be dramatic when there is a sudden
Jon Kabat-Zinn: “Mindfulness meditation is the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally”. Mindfulness is an intimate witnessing. We are having an experience at the same time as we are aware of the
Literally, what’s the hurry? Yogis count our lifespan in breaths, not years. The average person breathes 21,600 times a day. If you were to breathe 25% slower, about 16,200 times a day … You do the math. It adds up
“Trauma causes us to disconnect from ourselves, our sense of value, and from the present moment.” Dr Gabor Maté I recommend Dr Maté and tell his definition to people at least a dozen times every week. Trauma doesn’t only happen
Do you remember that scene in The Bodyguard where Whitney Houston is swept into Kevin Costner’s arms and carried to safety? Adrenaline is pumping. The danger is extreme and Kevin Costner is on high alert. Due to his action, the
The energy, sensations and feelings in our body are a rich source of information on what has not yet been resolved and healed. Welcoming and attending to our experience, turning towards instead of away from our feelings, is the key
How does fear affect your life? For most people, it is a long list with a wide reach. Our primitive brain is set up to ensure the survival of the species and fear gets our attention. Fight, flight, freeze kicks
People who love high risk sports and extreme adventures become addicted to the experience in their own bodies. A similar process happens with emotional striking out. The fight reflex and the flood of chemicals and hormones it releases in the
Is this the right time to make a big commitment to yourself? You may be interested in my six month program Find Your Stillpoint I believe in basic goodness We all reflexively avoid pain You are resilient, strong and courageous
As we heal from trauma, we develop strength and resilience. Our mind and system settles and we become calmer. We now know that we can’t emotionally self-regulate on our own. We co-regulate, which means we need to be around people
I offer a free daily online guided practice of meditation, relaxation, breathing and being with ourselves. We get to know ourselves in this small community of like-minded individuals. Why offer this every day? Because I know the importance of consistency.
When we water plants in dry soil, it helps to pour in just a bit of water, let it sink in a bit to soften the soil then pour in the rest. If we don’t soften up the dry soil
“A fundamental goal of human development is the emergence of a self-sustaining, self-regulated human being who can live in concert with fellow human beings in a social context. Vital for this healthy development is a relationship with a parent who
How do you support yourself? How do you create more ease in your body? We have reflexive responses in our body, like our shoulders coming up to our ears and tightness in the back of our neck. When we really
The intimacy of witnessing our experience Practices of mindfulness develop the capacity to witness or observe our experience. We can do this anywhere. When we are walking. Dancing. Breathing in sunshine. Checking Facebook. Washing our face. We begin every meditation
In Brene Brown’s extraordinary book Braving the Wilderness, she has a chapter called “Speak truth to bullshit. Be civil.” She speaks about truth in our interactions with other people and points to what is happening inside. Shame can be triggered
December 1, 2015 was the 1st day of continuous live online practices. On December 1, 2017 we celebrated with a 24 hour silence retreat. A more accurate name would be a Silent Kindness Retreat. I encouraged everyone to use this
“My body is busy. Inside, I am still.” Deepak Chopra, from a recent interview in response to a comment on how busy he is. Retreat is an interesting word with many associations, both negative and positive. At times, we retreat
I have a lot of quiet in my life. I live alone now, in a quiet place. I spend time in nature. Nature’s sounds feel like quiet. I meditate, in silence. My mind is mostly free of intrusive and compulsive
What does the heart know? We are one unified system: our body, breath, thoughts; what we know in our head and what we know in our heart. It might be the big question in our life. What am I here
Read below or listen here (2:45 minutes) We develop beliefs based on experience. If our primary experience in childhood is that we are loved and cared for, that we are part of a family unit we feel safe in, that
Hot off the press! The companion guide to Friends With Your Mind, How To Stop Torturing Yourself With Your Thoughts is now available on Amazon! Is a racing mind keeping you from sleep? Go right to the practices for ruminating
I have always been interested in the mind and brain, especially through meditating twenty-five years. Dr. Rick Hanson outlines a simple way to work with our brain to heal and increase happiness. Key resources to grow resilience and tolerate what
What is radical recovery? For two months I have been interviewing an amazing group of thought leaders and innovators involved in the field of addiction and recovery. A common theme is that trauma underlies addiction. “The real calamity of trauma
Do your best AND let go of the results of your actions. According to the ancients, this is the recipe for a well-lived and happy life. We know intuitively that hanging on leads to suffering, yet often we can’t let go.
My meditation teachers always spoke about working with the nature of the mind and to not struggle against the way things work. Our mind notices what moves and changes. When we feel relaxed and calm, we need only a light
What is this moment like from someone else’s eyes? There are so many ways we can work with this idea of shifting our perspective. I’m feeling hot and tired while waiting at a checkout. I finally get near the front
Do you wish people joy and happiness? Are you whole-heartedly happy when you hear of other people’s good fortune? When someone has a baby, we are happy for them. We know their joy and wish them well. Bring to mind