“How can we touch and live in expanded consciousness? What are the obstacles inherent in the human predicament, and how can we let them go?” Michael Singer is practical. This is how it is. Do you see what happens when you
Living Untethered
Before the Body Says No
“and i said to my body. softly. ‘i want to be your friend.’ it took a long breath. and replied ‘i have been waiting my whole life for this.” Nayyirah Waheed “Major calamities of body and mind are only the
Myth of Normal Toxic Financial Systems
“I have come to believe that behind the entire epidemic of chronic afflictions, mental and physical, that beset our current moment, something is amiss in our culture itself, generating both the rash of ailments we are suffering and crucially, the
Bullies at Work
When people are in fight/ flight/ freeze, they don’t have reliable access to higher level brain development. Driven by competition, fear and survival, it’s “us against them”. We can know these are trauma responses, yet still have a hard time staying
Mindbody: an Integrated Whole
This part, that part. What parts am I afraid of or excited for? Myself at 3, 12, 18 and now. My body, health, and life circumstances. Thoughts about my body, health, and life circumstances. Feelings and sensations in my body
A Specific Kind of Love
It is a generic kind of love if we don’t know the person. It doesn’t feel as personal to us when they don’t really know who we are. I wonder if our unconscious mind interprets disconnection from ourselves (which we
Interacting with Authority Figures as an Adult
When we were children, everyone was bigger, stronger, and could boss us around. What do you feel when you think about challenging an authority figure? Dread? Anger? We assess present moment threat using our experiences from the past, when we
Arrested Self Protection
“Arrested self-protection stifles our healthy anger.” Pete Walker Click here for the guided inquiry from our Sunday class. When our experiences with anger have never allowed us to feel and express it safely, we suppress it. Children can’t afford to
Angering
“The practice of feeling has taught me that there is absolutely nothing inside myself from which I need to run.” Pete Walker This has come to be my experience too. In our culture and families, we are shamed for being
Grieving Losses from Childhood Trauma
“The death of having a positive relationship with yourself is one of the worst losses.” Pete Walker What would your life have been like if you had been lucky enough to have been raised in a family of good enough
Being With Traumatic Memory
“This is an event in the past. I am grounded in this moment and witnessing how it is coming through in the present.” Trauma is stored in our body as sensation or energy along with associated memories. We stored it
Self Parenting
“Parents are the single greatest influence children will experience in their lives.” Whatever the intentions of the parent, the child does not experience the parent directly: the child experiences the parenting.” Dr Gabor Maté, MD What happens when a parent
Welcoming and Freeing Ourselves
“Ending the gender binary is a world without gender policing, where people are able to look like they want and love like they want, because it’s their life and their body. We have to look at how we’ve outsourced that
Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation
I had sexual feelings for another girl when I was fourteen, but I had never heard of lesbians or gay men. I didn’t know it was a possibility. I lived in a small town. My parents never said anything about
They’re Doing The Best They Can
Accepting people as they are is complex and nuanced. They did the best they could from the level of consciousness they were at then. It’s easy to say statements like these and like all cliche’s, they hold some truth. “When
In Love With Life
“Polyvagal theory is the science of feeling safe enough to fall in love with life and take the risks of living.” Deb Dana We’ve been through a lot this last two years and much of it was unwelcome and scary.
Fear of Sudden Change
I began experiencing sudden severe cramping in my abdomen. Within a few minutes, my Saturday went from a relaxed day off to … what exactly? I felt nauseous. It seemed like maybe it was the flu. I had been in
Are We In This Together?
Humans have a higher level cognitive mind and an immense capacity and need for empathy and connection. We also have the primitive brain survival system that developed during hunter/gatherer days when we lived in small groups and competed with other
I’m Not Ready to Return To “Normal”
It does not feel like a post-Covid world to me yet! We’re bracing ourselves for a return to work and school during a 4th wave with the Delta variant. Some people mask and vaccinate. Some don’t. People are dying. Our
Open Hearted and Engaged
“I doThe Work that Reconnects so that when things fall apart, we won’t turn on each other. ” Joanna Macy “The central question is not how we avoid uncertainty and fear but how we relate to discomfort. Every day we
Reality
I am not looking for someone to save me from the consequences of my past. Um, that’s not completely true for me. Do we ever completely give up hope? I live in a 68 year old body and feel the
Support Your Young Nervous System
To develop a strong resilient nervous system, children need to be around adults who are grounded and well-regulated. Babies need to co-regulate in order to develop neural networks for trust and connection. Attachment parenting emphasizes empathy and responsiveness to the
If I Were Free
If I were completely free to be authentically me, I would … If you were completely free, what would you bring in and what would you release? Let yourself visualize what that would be like. What is your felt sense
Kind and Open Hearted
“You are a light. You are the light. Never let anyone — any person or any force — dampen, dim or diminish your light … Release the need to hate, to harbor division, and the enticement of revenge. Release all bitterness. Hold
Perfection
Perfectionism is a trauma response. Trying to be perfect is a way to stay out of trouble, to be validated as good, and to feel included and safer. The elusive goal of perfection forever stays out of reach. Our experience
I’m Not Giving Up
“I’m not talking about blind optimism when I’m talking about hope. I’m talking about hope in the face of uncertainty. Hope in the face of difficulty. That sensibility is something I’ve found very valuable. The people I intend to admire
Kindness For Our Younger Self
Listen here if you prefer. Kindness and connection are foundations for healing. We do connect with others, but connecting with ourselves, inviting our exiled parts home, comes first. Without that, we can’t be authentic and risk sharing who we really
Fawning: A Trauma Response
We are vulnerable to powerful people who can make us feel that we are safer under their protection. Young athletes having sex with a coach or college students with professors shows the power of being singled out as promising and
Like your softest, most comfortable shirt …
We’ve had the rug pulled out from under our feet. Within one week in March, everything suddenly changed leaving us afraid and upset. Three weeks ago we reached a breaking point around police brutality against Black people. Millions of people
It Feels Like Grief
Off and on during the two months since the pandemic really landed in North America, I have noticed a heaviness in my chest. When I sit with it, it feels like grief: for people dying alone in hospitals without their
The Best and Worst
If there was ever a time when it matters how other people think and behave, it is now! All cultures have a version of the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Individually we
Mama Bear Energy
Don’t get between a mother bear and her cubs! Her protection is swift and merciless. If she sees you as a threat, she takes you out. Our fierce inner protector has more options than the mama bear standing on her
If I were free…
What comes to mind when you think of someone who is free? Free to be themselves. Free from fear and shame. Someone who doesn’t second guess themselves. Someone who isn’t afraid to be authentic. Take a few minutes now to
Kindness is All It Takes to Heal
There are two things I say that people are skeptical about or outright don’t believe. The first is that looking at our lives through a trauma lens reveals that most of our reactivity, compulsive thinking, anxiety, depression, fear and dread
Calming Social Anxiety
When we feel afraid or anxious, we are responding to a threat. When we experience social anxiety, we are almost always responding to the abundance of associations & memories from past social interactions. We have a primitive brain and survival
Kind and Compassionate With Ourselves
We have an understandable and not helpful mechanism of blaming and pushing ourselves. We think this will help us fix things. It is rooted in our survival instinct and primitive brain. When we are children, we blame ourselves for everything
Mary Oliver, One Wild and Precious Life
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Summer Day, by Mary Oliver Mary Oliver was someone who was very tuned in to her system and to the natural world. Many of her poems
I’m a Small-town Girl
I am a small-town girl from Saskatchewan, a prairie province in Canada that most people wouldn’t know how to pronounce let alone know where it is. I grew up in a home where I was well cared for physically. No
Use Your Body to Calm Catastrophic Thinking
What is happening right now in the space your body is occupying? There are sense perceptions, of the air or clothes on your skin, sounds, wetness in your mouth and the movement of your body with your breath. Are you
Inner Critic
Do you have an inner critic that is always on the lookout for anything you’ve done wrong? That ridicules and shames you for the smallest mistake? That drives you to be perfect and doesn’t let you rest? Would you like
Mindfulness Inquiry
Jon Kabat-Zinn: “Mindfulness meditation is the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally”. Mindfulness is an intimate witnessing. We are having an experience at the same time as we are aware of the
Resilient and Strong Enough
This week in our daily practice, we have been inquiring into resilience and strength. How does that show up in your body? Is there a toughness or shielding in your neck, shoulders and upper back? See if it feels okay
Hugging Ourselves
How do you support yourself? How do you create more ease in your body? We have reflexive responses in our body, like our shoulders coming up to our ears and tightness in the back of our neck. When we really
FREE In Person Every Day. Join Me 8:00am Eastern for Guided Meditation, Relaxation and Inquiry
Relax with me every day 8:00am EasternLive on Zoom #645 904 638. It’s free, come join. PASSCODE 397228 New! On Monday, Thursday and Saturday,click here to join on Insight Timer Live It’s free! I meet with people daily online for guided
Committing to my body
My drive for emotional safety overpowered care for my body. We have many words to describe the very common dissociation of ourselves from our bodies. “She’s stuck in her head.” “I live from the neck up.” We feel like we
Join me in Calgary and Red Deer
I’m excited to be heading back home to Alberta this week. Most of my work and community meets online. I also treasure these opportunities to meet in person. Friends With Your Mind, How To Stop Torturing Yourself With Your Thoughts
Speaking Truth to Bullshit
In Brene Brown’s extraordinary book Braving the Wilderness, she has a chapter called “Speak truth to bullshit. Be civil.” She speaks about truth in our interactions with other people and points to what is happening inside. Shame can be triggered
Connection and Safety
What stops you from being authentic? From taking a risk and sharing who you really are with someone? Past experience is a factor. We’ve all taken those risks and been shut down. We’ve tried to connect. Sometimes it has worked.
Silent Kindness Retreat
December 1, 2015 was the 1st day of continuous live online practices. On December 1, 2017 we celebrated with a 24 hour silence retreat. A more accurate name would be a Silent Kindness Retreat. I encouraged everyone to use this
Connection is the Essence of Safety
“Connection is the essence of safety.” Dr Gabor Maté I was just in Toronto for a two day Compassionate Inquiry workshop with Dr Maté. There were 450 of us in a large Cineplex theatre yet he easily held a space
Seeing Ourselves
Seeing ourselves intimately is the beginning, middle and end of our healing journey. In our Friends With The Mind course this week, I shared at the end what I now know to be true. We are all basically good
What Does The Heart Know?
What does the heart know? We are one unified system: our body, breath, thoughts; what we know in our head and what we know in our heart. It might be the big question in our life. What am I here