Was food restricted in your house? Was a parent ashamed of you because of your weight? Did you grow up hearing a parent expressing contempt for their own body or weight? If you were labelled fat as a child, were
Fat Shaming
AHA Moments and Superhighways
In neuroscience they’re called neural networks. In yoga they’re called samskaras and vasanas. In everyday life, we know them as ruts or deep grooves of habit. “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” Dr Rick Hanson In our healing work, we
Outsider
You are the designated difficult person in your family – not “like” the others You are queer in a heterosexual family who does or doesn’t accept or celebrate you You are of a different race to the rest of your
Stepping Out Into the World Again
Before Covid, most of our social anxiety had to do with possible rejection or exclusion. With Covid, we have added an alarming threat. Someone’s breath could kill us and we have no way of knowing who is dangerous and who
Connection With Reality
Dr Gabor Maté speaks about the effect of traumatic experiences as being disconnecting. Nurturing authentic connection with ourselves is thrilling, painful and raw. It is the aliveness we long for and it is a bold move. What does disconnection look
Connecting With Our Inner Child
How does your inner child feel about it? From one person, this can be an invitation into curiosity and to heal disconnection. From someone else, it can indicate contempt for being foolish enough to fall for that inner child nonsense.
No Justice No Peace
We intuitively know that justice for everyone is the pathway to true peace. We still live with de-facto segregation and isolation from each other and experience this loss, pain and grief in both obvious and subtle yet profound ways. It
I advocate for my body
What are your conditioned beliefs about your body? We live in a diet culture that shames us for our bodies. Our ancestors had an unreliable food supply. We evolved to binge when food was available and store it as fat
Nervous Systems on Display
We now live in a different world from the one we lived in last week. Many people were already highly stressed before the virus reached our country and community. This week fear has intensified. We do not know what will
A List of Their Names
September 30th is Orange Shirt Day, commemorating children who were forced into Canada’s Indian Residential Schools. Today on Facebook I saw the list of 2,800 children who died in these schools. There are at least 1,600 more unnamed children who
You Look Just Like Your Dad!
When I was a teenager, people often commented I looked just like my dad. Not a welcome thought for a teenage girl! Later he researched the Frasers and gave us pictures of our grandfathers four generations back. I can see
Friends With My Body? Really?
Do you feel good will towards your body? Do you love your body? Could you be friends with your body? For most of us the answer is complicated, embedded with lots of history and memories of past experiences. One of
Hurt People Hurt People
We have all harmed others. How do we allow that in? I have harmed people I love. How can I sit with the sadness and regret and grief of that? Let’s look at it through a trauma lens. When we
Inner Critic
Do you have an inner critic that is always on the lookout for anything you’ve done wrong? That ridicules and shames you for the smallest mistake? That drives you to be perfect and doesn’t let you rest? Would you like
We’re not performing monkeys
Compassion arises naturally when we acknowledge truth. There is much joy and beauty in a human life and much hardship and pain. Our culture creates pressure to manage life in a certain way, to be successful, and to maintain a
My Biggest Fan
I love you. I support you. I’m on your side. What gets in the way of connecting with yourself? Of being your own supporter and friend? It feels sad to me when we can’t be our own biggest fan, when
Trauma Expert Dr Gabor Maté
“Trauma causes us to disconnect from ourselves, our sense of value, and from the present moment.” Dr Gabor Maté I recommend Dr Maté and tell his definition to people at least a dozen times every week. Trauma doesn’t only happen
Moved To Tears
Reconnect and Fall in Love With Yourself, a women’s healing trauma retreat. What happens at a retreat like this? 7 women arrived Friday late afternoon and settled in at a classic old farmhouse. People are nervous before something like this.
Let Everyone Feel Loved
I came across this writing today about my meditation teacher Swami Veda Bharati. I feel such deep love and gratitude to have been connected with him for so many years. I am sure I heard him say this many times
Trauma Therapist Podcast
Listen on iTunes episode #304 or The Trauma Therapist Website I was interviewed by Guy MacPherson for the Trauma Therapist Podcast and it went live this week. Guy is experienced and asked good questions (I’m episode #304!). He asked about the
Empathetic Witnessing
When I read this by Gabor Maté it rang true. What is also true is that we are no longer alone, helpless, and without support. We are adults now. We can stop shaming and judgment. We can be there for
Swim towards help
I heard recently that when the Coastguard arrives at a rescue where many people are in the water, they first help the people who are swimming towards them. Your interest in reading this tells me you are one of the
Healing Trauma Retreat
Last weekend 13 women met at Reconnect and Fall in Love With Ourselves, a healing trauma workshop retreat in a gorgeous old growth Acadian forest at Windhorse Farm. The forecasted showers didn’t happen and we had warm sunshine through the