The Boomerang Inquiry is an additional tool to use when you can’t quite name or “get a feel for” the deficient self.  Like a boomerang that returns back to the thrower, the deficient self is mirrored back to you in relationship.  By using the Boomerang Inquiry, you’ll see that mirroring effect and you’ll be able to name and then see through the deficient self that is being reflected back to you in relationship.  You can inquire into your relationship with anything using the Boomerang Inquiry—any person, place, event, goal, or other thing.  When we really believe that we are deficient at the core, almost everything can appear to confirm our story.

Here’s how the Boomerang Inquiry works:

  •  Use the mirror.  Whenever you are triggered in relationship, find out what deficiency story this person or thing is mirroring back to you.
  • Name it.  Give the deficient self a specific name (e.g., unlovable self, unfulfilled self, lacking self, incomplete self, broken self, unsuccessful self, unsafe self or invalid self).
  • Find it.  Try to find this deficient self, using the UI.

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