When my granddaughter was two years old, her parents played a little game with her. Her mom would ask “who loves you?” and she’d say “Mama!”. Her dad would ask and she’d say “Daddy!” One time when I was there visiting I joined in and she said “Nana!” She then spontaneously threw her arms open and said “Everybody loves me!”
We learn from experience and how I wish everyone could have this knowing! She’s a teenager now and still feels loved and connected. Precious.
For so many reasons, a lot of children are neglected and abused. Our experience is that we feel unloved and we form the belief we are unlovable. We are powerless to make our parents happy and we form the belief we are a failure. Through no fault of our own, we missed out on the opportunity for optimal brain development as a child and believe we are a loser. We see the devastating effects of adverse childhood experiences through our life and feel hopeless.
One of the most important tasks in life is to heal our early learned experiences. We can see through these incorrect core deficiency beliefs. Much of what we learned is not actually true!
Think of two swim lanes in the same pool. In one is what we have learned from experience. There is some useful knowledge, like checking for traffic before we cross the street. This lane is also the home of catastrophic thinking, worse-case scenarios, beliefs of unworthiness, anxiety and fear. We are mesmerized by the content in this stream and it is expert at grabbing our attention.
In the other lane is what we know. This is the spacious, intuitive wisdom of our Being. Our own basic goodness. Love, connection and the willingness to heal. We feel grounded, kind and compassionate with ourselves and others. I know you know this. Even if it is not “where you live” all of the time.
Do this practice to experience stepping out of the stream of learned beliefs and back into what you know deep in your heart to be true.