Resistance

Sharing Authentically

Listen here if you prefer We all long for it. That moment when we share something personal and the other person “gets it”. Our direct experience is that we took a risk to be authentic, and we are rewarded with

NYC is empty

Do you feel deep down that if you don’t worry, you’ll forget about the threat and accidentally enjoy yourself then boom – it will blindside you? Do you equate worry with taking action? Worry is one of our many trauma

We will do almost anything to feel safe

“White privilege doesn’t mean your life hasn’t been hard. It just means the color of your skin isn’t one of the things that makes it harder.” Most of our conditioned beliefs come from the dominant culture – tv, movies, cartoons, advertising,

Afraid Yes Powerless No

We all feel fear. We don’t all feel powerless. The way we experience this crisis is not the same, and we have power to change our response.  We are in this together. I am not alone. I can do my

Mama Bear Energy

Don’t get between a mother bear and her cubs! Her protection is swift and merciless. If she sees you as a threat, she takes you out. Our fierce inner protector has more options than the mama bear standing on her

Gratitude From My Older Self

Do you remember being in your teens and thinking about being old? It was disturbing to me to imagine my young healthy body morphed into a body that is arthritic, stooped over in pain, old, and wrinkled. It never occurred

We Don’t Know

The truth we both fear and hate is that we don’t know what is going to happen. We long for love and authentic, deep connection with other people AND it is with our loved ones that we are at our

Loving Ourselves

Look into your eyes in a mirror and say “I love you”. Many people tell me they can’t do that. “That might work for someone else. Not me.” Loving yourself unconditionally might not be fully available to you right now.

Not My Job!

There are many things in life for which we are responsible. Fixing our parents is NOT one of them! It is an impossible task, especially for a child. Yet over and over we step up and try. We fail because

Burn to the ground?

Anger. Irritation. Fiery. Cold and implacable. Indignation. Righteous. Infuriated. Resentment. Tantrum. Enmity. Fury. Hatred. Violence. Blow up. Mad. Rage. We have a lot of words to describe the varying intensity of anger. Is it dangerous to feel angry? It feels

The Key to Freedom

The energy, sensations and feelings in our body are a rich source of information on what has not yet been resolved and healed. Welcoming and attending to our experience, turning towards instead of away from our feelings, is the key

Fight Reflex

People who love high risk sports and extreme adventures become addicted to the experience in their own bodies. A similar process happens with emotional striking out. The fight reflex and the flood of chemicals and hormones it releases in the

Calming Catastrophic Thinking

How do we calm ourselves when we’re worried about something? We’ll be reminded of something – maybe someone around us gets sick or we get news about our own health. It’s natural to try to figure out what to do. All

Tragic Accidents

Death is a hard stop. We know in our heads that human bodies are fragile and vulnerable. The possibility of death co-exists with life. Our own life. People we love. People we know. It is not possible to live with

Swim towards help

I heard recently that when the Coastguard arrives at a rescue where many people are in the water, they first help the people who are swimming towards them. Your interest in reading this tells me you are one of the

Open Your Hands and Let Go

“Clutching your old relationship in closed fists does not work. Acknowledge to yourself that the old relationship is over. You can’t get it back. Your only option now is how much you will open to new possibilities. Open your hands

Compassion is like water permeating hard dry soil

When we water plants in dry soil, it helps to pour in just a bit of water, let it sink in a bit to soften the soil then pour in the rest. If we don’t soften up the dry soil

Intention for Nurturing Supportive Self-Care

Near the end of our online daily practices, I often open a space for intention. Someone might set an intention to touch back in through the day to the deepest stillness experienced during the practice, or to follow the breath

Healing Trauma Retreat

  Last weekend 13 women met at Reconnect and Fall in Love With Ourselves, a healing trauma workshop retreat in a gorgeous old growth Acadian forest at Windhorse Farm. The forecasted showers didn’t happen and we had warm sunshine through the

Attuned Empathy

“A fundamental goal of human development is the emergence of a self-sustaining, self-regulated human being who can live in concert with fellow human beings in a social context. Vital for this healthy development is a relationship with a parent who

Forgiving My Nervous System

Take a few deep breaths and relax your whole body from head to toes. Look at these sentences and notice your response. Someone came up behind me and I jumped a foot. I am frustrated that I startle so easily

The Compulsion to “Figure It Out”

The quote below is from a conversation at the end of a daily practice last week. Most anxiety and depression comes with intrusive thoughts and the compulsion to “figure it out”. Noticing this as a red flag is so helpful

Is Someone You Love Perfect?

Bring to mind someone you love: child, grandchild, parent, close friend, intimate partner; someone in your life now or perhaps no longer with you in person. Focus on the look on their face when they see you and smile. Bring

Welcome!

I first began working with Scott Kiloby’s welcoming phrases four years ago in response to a thought “Stop in at the coffee shop up the street for a chocolate croissant.” I pulled my car to the side of the road

Allowing Everyone To Be Exactly As They Are

Allowing everyone to be exactly as they are. Just the words can create a flurry of activity in the mind. The principle makes sense to us and it is also something we mightily resist! The intensity of our response is

Triggered

Do your best AND let go of the results of your actions. According to the ancients, this is the recipe for a well-lived and happy life.  We know intuitively that hanging on leads to suffering, yet often we can’t let go.

Appreciative Joy

Do you wish people joy and happiness? Are you whole-heartedly happy when you hear of other people’s good fortune? When someone has a baby, we are happy for them. We know their joy and wish them well. Bring to mind