It was National Coming Out Day this week and every year I post something on my personal Facebook page. It is important that when we think of LGBTQ2S+ that real people come to mind. Knowing someone personally helps because the
Brave and Fierce
Grounded Presence During Hard Times
As we move into schools opening during a fourth wave of Covid, the IPCC report to the UN on the climate emergency, Haiti and Afghanistan, many people are feeling overwhelmed and despairing. In our Sunday community classes in September, we’ll
Open Hearted and Engaged
“I doThe Work that Reconnects so that when things fall apart, we won’t turn on each other. ” Joanna Macy “The central question is not how we avoid uncertainty and fear but how we relate to discomfort. Every day we
The Greatest Gift You Can Give the World is a Peaceful Mind
When people around you are in an uproar, there has been a flood or school shooting and you are feeling heartsick with grief, when people close to you are anxious, try to not add to the chaos. Steady yourself. Come
Why Does Healing Take So Long?!
We know we are different now. We’re not as reactive. We have tools to self-regulate and we remember to use them. We recognize when we’re in survival responses of fight/ flight/ freeze/ fawn. We don’t go as deep into the
Perfection
Perfectionism is a trauma response. Trying to be perfect is a way to stay out of trouble, to be validated as good, and to feel included and safer. The elusive goal of perfection forever stays out of reach. Our experience
Stepping Out Into the World Again
Before Covid, most of our social anxiety had to do with possible rejection or exclusion. With Covid, we have added an alarming threat. Someone’s breath could kill us and we have no way of knowing who is dangerous and who
I’m Not Giving Up
“I’m not talking about blind optimism when I’m talking about hope. I’m talking about hope in the face of uncertainty. Hope in the face of difficulty. That sensibility is something I’ve found very valuable. The people I intend to admire
Indigenous Intergenerational Trauma
How do we take in the enormity of pain in ourselves and each other? It’s like the stinky sludge in the bottom of a swamp, where we are almost used to the pervading aroma, then the wind shifts and we
Gifts We Offer We Receive
“The greatest gift you can give the world is a peaceful mind.” ~my meditation teacher Swami Veda Bharati Guiding a daily online practice has changed my life in so many ways and it is a favorite part of my day.
A Tentative Sigh of Relief
If you celebrated when the US election results were called last week, you may have noticed a change in your body this week. Many of us are talking about it. The tight grip in our stomach loosening a bit. Our
A Long Memory and One Goal
It seems so clear, doesn’t it? If that person would just follow my advice, they would get better, stop obsessing about that lost relationship, get their projects in on time, or not wake up hungover every Sunday. If they would
Kindness For Our Younger Self
Listen here if you prefer. Kindness and connection are foundations for healing. We do connect with others, but connecting with ourselves, inviting our exiled parts home, comes first. Without that, we can’t be authentic and risk sharing who we really
Safety IS the treatment
“Safety IS the treatment.” In order to heal, we need to feel safe. Dr Stephen Porges defines safety as the absence of threat PLUS a feeling of connection. “Trauma is what happens inside us as a result of what happens to us.
It was the first time I felt loved and protected
A friend of Lina’s once asked if she was afraid of her partner Eric. She was shocked and immediately said no, but wondered why her friend would ask such a question. It was only after she left him a few
Freeing Ourselves
Like Pavlov’s dog, we are all conditioned. All the way through human history, our likelihood of survival has been higher when we are included in the family or immediate community. We will do pretty much anything to not get kicked
Throwing Out the Rules
What would happen if you had no rules about being a good person, a nice person, or a valuable person? Would you naturally care about people? Would you want to be decent and kind? What would you do with your
Courage and Resilience
What gets us through hard times? Reflect for a moment on other times in your life when you were struggling to stay afloat. What helped you then? For many people, a sense of community, knowing we are in this together,
Radical Self-care
Self-care is especially important now, as we are moving from short term shelter-in-place into the weeks and months ahead. When we’re on vacation, we might throw out all the rules and drink and eat in a way that isn’t healthy
Are you okay being alone?
Something that is difficult for many people right now is to be alone. Some of this is fear about how terrible it would be to be in the hospital without people we love at our side. We feel for people
Our Nervous System is Doing Its Job
We are all experiencing trauma right now. Our nervous system knows we are facing a life and death threat, and is doing its job by alerting us to danger through fear, tight shoulders and catastrophic thinking. It activates our survival
Landfall
Two weeks ago, it felt like we were in a hurricane watch. A week ago, we’d been upgraded to a warning, with an ominous sense of impending doom looking at the reports out of Italy. This week, we are hearing
Gratitude
This week I had my 67th birthday, my dog Shantih turns one, and I celebrated my one year anniversary of living in the forest at the ocean. This morning in daily practice we did a gratitude practice. Neuroscience tells us
Rewiring Your Safety Map Over Time
Some of the people I interview on the Radical Recovery Summit have a very similar understanding and approach to mine. Irene Lyon is one of those people. She synthesized her training and experience into her program SmartMind SmartBody where she
Kind and Compassionate With Ourselves
We have an understandable and not helpful mechanism of blaming and pushing ourselves. We think this will help us fix things. It is rooted in our survival instinct and primitive brain. When we are children, we blame ourselves for everything
Gratitude From My Older Self
Do you remember being in your teens and thinking about being old? It was disturbing to me to imagine my young healthy body morphed into a body that is arthritic, stooped over in pain, old, and wrinkled. It never occurred
I’m a Small-town Girl
I am a small-town girl from Saskatchewan, a prairie province in Canada that most people wouldn’t know how to pronounce let alone know where it is. I grew up in a home where I was well cared for physically. No
Gratitude and Fear
The evidence is in. Gratitude practices rock! Oprah. Brené Brown. Scientists. So why do so many people find they turn stale and lifeless after awhile? It’s one more thing to tick off our already overwhelming to-do list. The promises of
A Field of Energy
Settle into a comfortable position. Shavasana is a classic relaxation pose – where you lie on your back with your arms and legs a comfortable distance apart. Become aware of your body from head to toes and the space your body is
Solace in the Heart
The practice below is one of nurturing ourselves with comfort and solace in the heart center. Bring to mind a moment of joy, maybe someone you love or a favourite pet and bring your attention to your heart area. The
3 Levels of Direct Experience
Do we actually need that ongoing commentary about our experience? What are the sensations in your neck and shoulders? Contracted and tight? Painful? Soft and comfortable? Are your shoulders up around your ears? When you let your shoulders become a
Trauma Informed Mindfulness
Free online class Sunday March 3rd 11AM Eastern http://zoom.us/j/645904638 Following the instructions to breathe and relax can be difficult for some people with a trauma history. We’re asking people to let down their defenses and feel. Our brain and nervous
Stillness
We notice what moves. This is part of the negativity bias in the brain. Being vigilant for potential danger helps keep us safe. Are you held hostage by your primitive brain? This can be dramatic when there is a sudden
Breathe slowly. What’s the Hurry?
Literally, what’s the hurry? Yogis count our lifespan in breaths, not years. The average person breathes 21,600 times a day. If you were to breathe 25% slower, about 16,200 times a day … You do the math. It adds up
A New Year
We have moved through the longest night, the December winter solstice and now add a few minutes of light each day. The cold here this time of year combined with the small incremental change in daylight hides this from view.
Redwood Forest
Forests and ocean. Stillness and movement. Space to breathe. I feel part of the network of leaves and roots, fresh air, the simple reality of nature. I was in California last week for the Science and Nonduality Conference, south of
Let Everyone Feel Loved
I came across this writing today about my meditation teacher Swami Veda Bharati. I feel such deep love and gratitude to have been connected with him for so many years. I am sure I heard him say this many times
Trauma Therapist Podcast
Listen on iTunes episode #304 or The Trauma Therapist Website I was interviewed by Guy MacPherson for the Trauma Therapist Podcast and it went live this week. Guy is experienced and asked good questions (I’m episode #304!). He asked about the
Our prize at the bottom of the Cracker Jacks!
I offer a free daily online guided practice of meditation, relaxation, breathing and being with ourselves. We get to know ourselves in this small community of like-minded individuals. Why offer this every day? Because I know the importance of consistency.
Hugging Ourselves
How do you support yourself? How do you create more ease in your body? We have reflexive responses in our body, like our shoulders coming up to our ears and tightness in the back of our neck. When we really
FREE In Person Every Day. Join Me 8:00am Eastern for Guided Meditation, Relaxation and Inquiry
Meditate with me every day 8:00am Eastern Live on Zoom #645 904 638. It’s free, come join. PASSCODE 397228 It’s free! I meet with people daily online for guided practices exploring: Breathe, Relax, Heal. Many of the meditations are here. My pre and
Shaming Does Not Work
There is a pervasive and incorrect belief that shaming is an effective way to inspire change and improvement. Psychological studies and research in the past ten years have proven conclusively that this is untrue. The effects of shaming are that
Silent Kindness Retreat
December 1, 2015 was the 1st day of continuous live online practices. On December 1, 2017 we celebrated with a 24 hour silence retreat. A more accurate name would be a Silent Kindness Retreat. I encouraged everyone to use this
“My body is busy. Inside, I am still.” ~Deepak Chopra
“My body is busy. Inside, I am still.” Deepak Chopra, from a recent interview in response to a comment on how busy he is. Retreat is an interesting word with many associations, both negative and positive. At times, we retreat