“Safety IS the treatment.” In order to heal, we need to feel safe. Dr Stephen Porges defines safety as the absence of threat PLUS a feeling of connection. “Trauma is what happens inside us as a result of what happens to us.
Safety IS the treatment
What do you do?
When you feel lonely or sad, what are you most likely to do? a) Call a friend, ask for a hug, reach out to a person for support b) Eat, smoke a joint, have a drink, shop onlinec) Curl up on
Fawning: A Trauma Response
We are vulnerable to powerful people who can make us feel that we are safer under their protection. Young athletes having sex with a coach or college students with professors shows the power of being singled out as promising and
NYC is empty
Do you feel deep down that if you don’t worry, you’ll forget about the threat and accidentally enjoy yourself then boom – it will blindside you? Do you equate worry with taking action? Worry is one of our many trauma
It was the first time I felt loved and protected
A friend of Lina’s once asked if she was afraid of her partner Eric. She was shocked and immediately said no, but wondered why her friend would ask such a question. It was only after she left him a few
Freeing Ourselves
Like Pavlov’s dog, we are all conditioned. All the way through human history, our likelihood of survival has been higher when we are included in the family or immediate community. We will do pretty much anything to not get kicked
Compliance, Defiance and Peer Pressure
Do you find yourself going along with something even when you feel uncomfortable? Compliance is a form of freeze with elements of fawning to someone perceived as more powerful. Do you automatically reject doing what you are told? Defiance can
It Feels Like Grief
Off and on during the two months since the pandemic really landed in North America, I have noticed a heaviness in my chest. When I sit with it, it feels like grief: for people dying alone in hospitals without their
Courage and Resilience
What gets us through hard times? Reflect for a moment on other times in your life when you were struggling to stay afloat. What helped you then? For many people, a sense of community, knowing we are in this together,
Afraid Yes Powerless No
We all feel fear. We don’t all feel powerless. The way we experience this crisis is not the same, and we have power to change our response. We are in this together. I am not alone. I can do my
Mama Bear Energy
Don’t get between a mother bear and her cubs! Her protection is swift and merciless. If she sees you as a threat, she takes you out. Our fierce inner protector has more options than the mama bear standing on her