Community

Throwing Out the Rules

What would happen if you had no rules about being a good person, a nice person, or a valuable person? Would you naturally care about people? Would you want to be decent and kind?  What would you do with your

It feels like grief

Off and on during the two months since the pandemic really landed in North America, I have noticed a heaviness in my chest. When I sit with it, it feels like grief: for people dying alone in hospitals without their

Courage and Resilience

What gets us through hard times? Reflect for a moment on other times in your life when you were struggling to stay afloat. What helped you then?  For many people, a sense of community, knowing we are in this together,

Afraid Yes Powerless No

We all feel fear. We don’t all feel powerless. The way we experience this crisis is not the same, and we have power to change our response.  We are in this together. I am not alone. I can do my

Nervous Systems on Display

We now live in a different world from the one we lived in last week. Many people were already highly stressed before the virus reached our country and community. This week fear has intensified. We do not know what will

We Are All Outsiders

The dictionary defines an outsider as a person who does not belong to a particular group. We are all outsiders from most groups.  I am an outsider to marathon runners, medical doctors, and chess champions. That’s neutral for me. I

Love Flows in Both Directions

Hurt people hurt people. This is obvious to us when we see physical, sexual, emotional abuse or severe neglect.  Children are also hurt when parents are too stressed, busy, distracted or depressed to get to know them.  To really feel connected,

A List of Their Names

September 30th is Orange Shirt Day, commemorating children who were forced into Canada’s Indian Residential Schools. Today on Facebook I saw the list of 2,800 children who died in these schools. There are at least 1,600 more unnamed children who

A New Year

We have moved through the longest night, the December winter solstice and now add a few minutes of light each day. The cold here this time of year combined with the small incremental change in daylight hides this from view.

My Biggest Fan

I love you. I support you. I’m on your side.  What gets in the way of connecting with yourself? Of being your own supporter and friend?  It feels sad to me when we can’t be our own biggest fan, when

Hatred and Fear

“Some people find relief in drugs like heroin, some are finding relief and validation in harboring hate. Both hate and addiction  are a manifestation of a society that is ill, disconnected, and traumatized. Just like addiction provides relief to people

Redwood Forest

Forests and ocean. Stillness and movement. Space to breathe. I feel part of the network of leaves and roots, fresh air, the simple reality of nature. I was in California last week for the Science and Nonduality Conference, south of

Still We Love Them

I left home when I was 17. I crashed with a friend for a few months, hitchhiked halfway across Canada and partied in a quest for connection and oblivion. Looking back, it hits hard just how much danger I was

Moved To Tears

Reconnect and Fall in Love With Yourself, a women’s healing trauma retreat. What happens at a retreat like this? 7 women arrived Friday late afternoon and settled in at a classic old farmhouse. People are nervous before something like this.

Fully Digesting Our Lives

Unresolved trauma is like undigested food in our gut. We need to improve our digestion to allow it to move through. How do we do that? We could eat healthier food in an appropriate amount, in a calm atmosphere and

Let Everyone Feel Loved

I came across this writing today about my meditation teacher Swami Veda Bharati. I feel such deep love and gratitude to have been connected with him for so many years. I am sure I heard him say this many times

Telling the Truth

https://www.thetraumatherapistproject.com/podcast/meditation-healing-trauma-lynn-fraser/ I had a big experience of telling the truth this week. The interview I did with Guy MacPherson on the Trauma Therapist Podcast went live on Tuesday. We mostly focused on trauma and how I have worked with it

Trauma Therapist Podcast

Listen on iTunes episode #304 or The Trauma Therapist Website I was interviewed by Guy MacPherson for the Trauma Therapist Podcast and it went live this week. Guy is experienced and asked good questions (I’m episode #304!). He asked about the

A Big Commitment

Is this the right time to make a big commitment to yourself?  You may be interested in my six month program Find Your Stillpoint   I believe in basic goodness We all reflexively avoid pain You are resilient, strong and courageous

Healthy Mind in Everyday Life

As we heal from trauma, we develop strength and resilience. Our mind and system settles and we become calmer. We now know that we can’t emotionally self-regulate on our own. We co-regulate, which means we need to be around people

Empathetic Witnessing

When I read this by Gabor Maté it rang true. What is also true is that we are no longer alone, helpless, and without support. We are adults now. We can stop shaming and judgment. We can be there for

I Feel So Alone

As if feeling lonely and alone isn’t bad enough, now researchers are saying it’s bad for our health and longevity! This can feel like a rock and hard place. Rock Our primitive brain is evidence based, has a negativity bias

Red Alert

A few years ago journalist Johann Hari began speaking about the root cause of addiction being a lack of connection. Trauma expert Dr Gabor Maté speaks about unresolved intergenerational and personal trauma at the root of disconnection from ourselves and

Healing Trauma Retreat

  Last weekend 13 women met at Reconnect and Fall in Love With Ourselves, a healing trauma workshop retreat in a gorgeous old growth Acadian forest at Windhorse Farm. The forecasted showers didn’t happen and we had warm sunshine through the

What Lens Are You Looking Through?

After working with me regularly for several months, many people tell me “I used to think you were overdoing it the way you keep bringing everything back to trauma. Now I get it.” Looking through this lens helps us to

Giving back

The experience of feeling connected and valued feels wonderful! The experience of feeling socially isolated and left out – not so much! It feels sad and threatening. My sense is that part of the benefit of giving to others is

Join me in Calgary and Red Deer

I’m excited to be heading back home to Alberta this week. Most of my work and community meets online. I also treasure these opportunities to meet in person. Friends With Your Mind, How To Stop Torturing Yourself With Your Thoughts

Sexual Stigma and Shaming Young Women

I would love to say that sexual shaming of young women today is radically different from my own experiences fifty years ago. That would be untrue. And it breaks my heart. Objectification of women and our bodies still predominates in

Connection and Safety

What stops you from being authentic? From taking a risk and sharing who you really are with someone? Past experience is a factor. We’ve all taken those risks and been shut down. We’ve tried to connect. Sometimes it has worked.

Returning Into Light

Bright blessed days … dark sacred nights … what a wonderful world This time of year people reflect on endings and beginning. It feels like an opportunity to start fresh. To take stock and to realign ourselves with our true

Safe Enough

“For a person to truly recover from a traumatic experience, they need to learn at the level of their body that the danger has passed.” Dr Bessel van der Kolk Joy. Grief. Terror. Connection. Isolation. Kindness. Betrayal. Compassion. Oceans and

Braving the Wilderness

Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone, by Dr Brené Brown. “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, joy, trust, intimacy, courage – everything that brings meaning to our life.” Brené Brown A dictionary definition

“My body is busy. Inside, I am still.” ~Deepak Chopra

“My body is busy. Inside, I am still.” Deepak Chopra, from a recent interview in response to a comment on how busy he is. Retreat is an interesting word with many associations, both negative and positive. At times, we retreat

Connection

Connection with others is what makes life meaningful. Other people are a source of both joy and suffering. Both are true. “The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence