Is this the right time to make a big commitment to yourself?
You may be interested in my six month program Find Your Stillpoint
I believe in basic goodness
We all reflexively avoid pain
You are resilient, strong and courageous
We all have unhealed trauma and shame
You have the capacity to heal
We long for connection and authenticity
Twenty Years Ago
I made a big commitment. Five years after I began meditating, a senior teacher moved to my area and I committed myself to spending time with him. I organized workshops and transcribed his talks. I worked with senior teachers as we developed a yoga meditation teacher training program. We visited over many cups of chai tea. This was long before I knew about developmental trauma and the profound disconnection I felt since my teen years.
“The effect of trauma is that we disconnect from ourselves, our sense of value and the present moment.” Trauma expert Gabor Maté, MD
Dr Maté goes on to say that we develop emotional self-regulation by being around people who are self-regulated. During those years, I was close with people who had calm, clear, steady minds. They were connected within and with others. It wouldn’t have occurred to my teacher to shame himself and he modelled true self-acceptance. Our time together healed something in me. I began to know and love myself.
Eight Years Ago
I met Scott Kiloby and learned the Living Inquiries. I began having a new experience. I could safely feel all my emotions. I learned to tolerate and even to welcome the deep hurt and pain of disconnection. I needed the safe container my facilitator provided to face the intense feelings in my body, the ones I’d unknowingly avoided all my life. I had recently left my 30 year relationship. I began learning about Developmental Trauma and Complex PTSD. Through an intense two year process, including two stays at the Kiloby Centre in California working with Scott, I experienced major shifts. I revealed and released core deficiency beliefs. My trauma bucket definitely emptied out. I began to be kind, patient and trust myself.
My direct experience now is of connection,
knowing my own value, and
awareness in the present moment
Deep personal work through the private sessions with me:
We stop believing our negative and fearful thoughts. Associations are less. As we empty out our personal trauma bucket we have more inner space, our thoughts settle, we are less anxious and less reactive. We stop shaming ourselves. We develop the capacity to welcome and the interest to sit with what used to set off a chain of catastrophic thinking or dissociation.
We know and support ourselves. As the need for defending ourselves goes down, our capacity for love, kindness and compassion for ourselves goes up. We are able to see ourselves clearly and completely.
We are witnessed in this unfolding by ourselves and another person through the foundation of unconditional love. This direct experience is felt through our nervous system through every cell in our body. It is a wordless turning toward. The relief of absolute acceptance.
Each week our small group meets to practice, explore and support each other in our deepening. From experience in our weekly classes, you know the power of authentic, deep sharing and trust. This is an invitation and opportunity to reveal ourselves to trusted others. It is always at our own pace.
I have an overall plan for our group and will also tailor it to what comes and goes through the six months. With a group of 6 or 7 people, we have a lot of flexibility.
This program is by invitation and is for women only. We are at a stage of development where we have the capacity and the interest in knowing and healing ourselves and to be kind and respectful to each other.
We have all been so hurt by other people. We have all hurt other people. There was an absence of genuine connection because we were protecting ourselves. It might be through lashing out. It could be the physical or emotional absence of escape.
As we heal our deep internal wounds and became steadier inside, we are able to risk connecting with others. The direct experience of being safe for each other helps to heal relational trauma. We become braver. Letting down our barriers and letting people in is so juicy.
This could be the exact right time for you to make a commitment this big. If it is, let’s talk about the possibilities.
Email firstname.lastname@example.org or click here to book a time to talk.